DvR wrote:Seriously though, for men loving seems more based on memory, something shared in the past which can even project into the long-term future, like children and other shared activities. It's valuation based on past familiarity, appreciation of what has been and how you regard the events and feelings so far.
Falling in love is more based on the near future, a matter of expectation.
I always thought that falling in love was the result of pheromone exchange. Once that wears off, you either find that you love someone or you do not, that is, reality sets in.
Silly old git? You can do better than that, your honor.
Leyla Shen wrote:What about the expectation in the "how you regard events and feelings so far"?
In this context, I'd say romantic love - you know, the "falling in love" feeling that makes everything exciting - is a lack of expectation.
Well, no. That was the point of my post, Leyla.Leyla Shen wrote:Then it would be prudent, I think, not to call it falling in love, since once the pheromones wear off there's at least a 50/50 chance it ain't love, no?
"Love" is the psychological component you're attaching to a biochemical phenomenon. Why not just say, "Man, my pheromones are going off" in those instances and make no connection to "love" whatsoever?
Yes, well - you can blame the new boyfriend for that. ;)
brokenhead wrote:A male moth is not affected by the sex pheromones produced by a female ant, for example.
LS: Then it would be prudent, I think, not to call it falling in love, since once the pheromones wear off there's at least a 50/50 chance it ain't love, no?
b: Well, no. That was the point of my post, Leyla.
Blame him? I'm ready to nominate him for canonization.
Leyla Shen wrote:Wait, “no” what? No it wouldn't’t be prudent not to associate pheromones (to be clear, biochemical stimulants triggering fixed responses) with falling in love and love? (How about with one and not the other?)
Maybe you ought to just accept that if something doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t make sense?
Can you imagine it – imposing all sorts of conditions on your relationship with Him, like expecting Him to cook your dinner; or, when He said, “I have made you what you are, but all the bad bits you have to settle yourself by exorcising your relationship with the devil from your soul; 50 Our Fathers and 25 Hail Marys, my boy!” and then you said, “Listen here, arsehole, you’re supposed to be omnipotent so it’s your fault – you MADE me and HIM do it!* Penance!? What fucking penance, ha!”?
The question for you here is; how does sex factor into the equation?
God’s love, my dear, is as totally one-sided and selfish as Woman’s. Perhaps that’s why you men get so confused about it, and give it so much power over you.
I don't know about pheromones. I'm pretty sure love is produced by chemicals that can work at any distance. An example of these chemicals is phenylethylamine, which releases dopamine, which stimulates the production of oxytocin. These substances work like drugs. They give you a high and are very addictive. But most of our bodies get used to (build a tolerance to) these drugs after several years elapse. Then being in love becomes attachment.
Oh and btw, the chemicals can also be obtained in other ways besides romantic relationships. But I'm sure you're not interested.
Oh yes I am. Give. You are not talking about the cologne with the armpit pheromone isolate added to it, are you?
Being the intrepid soul that I am, I wear a parachute while I am just eating chocolate.Shahrazad wrote:You can also do "exciting" activities such as jumping from an airplane. Wear a parachute, of course.
Are you by any slim chance actually agreeing with me that pheromones cannot be the sole explanation of the phenomena of falling in love with and feeling love for another person?
Can you not develop an adult view?
And make no mistake, women give men far more power over them than vice versa. And you know that is true.
Leyla Shen wrote:O-oo, I'm scared now!
"That's what love is. It's one's own ego that one loves in love, one's own ego made real on the imaginary level"—Jacques Lacan
Nick Treklis wrote:Carl G wrote:How's your love affair going, brokenhead? Are you busy packing for Idaho?
Did they just legalize same sex marriage there or something?
Carl G wrote:Shahrazad wrote:Carl, do you really want to know the answer to that or are you just trying to be facetious?
I really want to know.
brokenhead wrote:[...] and this was all you could come up with.
Leyla Shen wrote:brokenhead wrote:[...] and this was all you could come up with.
Trust you to snort all over a divine pearl of wisdom!
I may be making a comeback soon ...