by Foresta-Gump » Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:42 am
Wordwarrior, is just nother of my alias names. I could make lots of trouble here, if I were so inclined to.
David, you know you cannot stop me from getting in here, so why don't you just quit banning my different names.
Do you want to win against me so much that you won't give up trying? To what extent will you go David? Why don't you just leave me alone? Why must I have to fight against you, I simply wish to stay in my area Foresta Gumps Contemplations.
I know what is bugging you, its when I mentioned you used my words isn't it? Thats it! I was an idiot for saying that. You were complimenting me by using my words, I was being a goof ok, I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I embarrassed myself more. I never ever meant for this to happen between us, to treat you disrespectfully. Why do you treat me so disrespectfully by banning my name. My name is as good as yours, so please stop undermining my name.
No matter what happens, I refuse to lower myself anymore by showing my verbal nasty side. I don't need to curse or downsize you to get my point across. I'm trying to grow-up not down. Surely, you can understand my need to protect myself from the abuse of banning my name. Try to imagine, putting the shoe on your foot, and it was me banning you, try to imagine how this would make you feel.
Give me another chance and I will stay in my own area I promise. I know it will be difficult to not be able to comment on a subject, but I won't, I will stay in The Contemplations of Foresta Gump. Quit making my life difficult David, you are adding to my sorrow. Leave me alone, and I will leave you alone too. You know that I can just keep coming back under another alias name, and I will. But, I don't wish to feel the feeling of not belonging anymore, I've lived a life of not belonging, why add to my sorrow.
My only regret is that I spoke down to you disrespectfully.
To control me is your win David, not mine!
So let me prove to you I can behave myself accordingly, please. I have learned that I'm not liked here, from this ban, this hurts tremendously, but, I can live with that, but I don't want to live with rejection anymore. You guys will never know that I've committed suicide. And what I've seen on the forum I know you couldn't care any less.
I found something in my life that truly has found my happiness here at the forum, it allows me to express myself. I've been hidden away in the back of my mind for many years, never letting anyone know the real me, except for here on the forum.
To deny me of my existence now, you may as well take a gun to my head and shoot me dead.
I know I'm an oddball David, people are not equipped with dealing with my odd behavior, I realize this now.
A person has to die, before going down in history. And a person has to be dead before going on to heaven or wherever.
I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to stay alive for my 7 year old granddaughter anymore. Yet, I can't bare to hurt her in this way, yet I have to continue to bare the pain of living for her. I can't even off myself, even though I want to desperately. Because my love for this kid is enough to make me suffer for the rest of my life. I've been suffering in silence all of my life. I struggle to live in a world where nobody cares.
To deny me of my rightful name Foresta Gump is to deny me of my existence.
Foresta Gump