Rhett Hamilton wrote:.
That's because you're not really trying for enlightenment yet.
Not with great intensity and constantly (which is the requirement).
It's not possible for someone in a loving relationship to become enlightened without the love dropping-off or fading away. Enlightenment is so thoroughly difficult, to do it whilst relating closely with a woman would in my opinion be a feat far beyond that of even the greatest genius' we've seen thus far.
Nisargadatta Maharaj enlightened AFTER he got married and had kids (I think). Even after that, he left them and went to the mountain, but then he realised it wasn't his place so he went back. I think that probably as you say, there must be love dropping when dettaching while being in a relationship. The object isn't the problem my friend, it's the attachment to the object...
Suppose I left her, and after a while I got back with her or begun a new relationship, what would that mean? That I wasn't really in conditions to be alone alone (I don't leave who I love, or what I love, so that's not gonna happen anytime soon). Still I don't think the solution is eliminating the object to which one is attached to, but rather to eliminate attachment itself (which logically would mean dropping the object to which one was attached to, but not necessarily),
Even if it's the most loving thing to do for them? Loving of their mind that is. Keep in mind that if she is comfortable with you you're as good as married.
I disagree. Loving their mind?
Regarding marriage, it would make no difference if I were legally married to her, because I already love her and am always there for her, meaning the commitment is already from my part.
You will likely have to, maybe forever. But you can decide that in time.
What I said above: about eliminating attachment, not the object... Anyway I agree, I will probably stop being engaged with music in 10 years once I dedicate myself completely on meditation and so on.
I find your approach feminine, washy, insincere. I suggest making serious inroads into enlightened when young, it's easier then, before any solid attachments form. Do you mind me asking your age?
I disagree. Where is the insincerity? It would be insincere to claim otherwise... One has to be conscious of one's actual conditions: desires, passions, amount of energy to change, willing to change, etc. etc. I am 18 and a half, and this is my second relationship with a woman, probably the last one in my life.
Feelings only arise from attachments, so it is true that a sage is free of emotions.
So an enlightened being doesn't experience joy, happines, calm at all?
I have found that those who have close relationships, especially sexual relationships, when young are more inclined to be needy of them. I didn't have a girlfriend or sex until i was 21, by which time i had sown the seeds of freedom.
I was very needy in my first (former) relationship. Her leaving me was something that made me suffer as I had never suffered, which ended up being a "good" thing.
At the beginnings of my actual relationship I was pretty needy, not as much as before. Now I am not, I have changed since we started dating (we are together since 1 year and a half).
Given what i have read of you so far, i do not see passion. I do not see a passion for genius, and that is most definitely what is required.
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There is no actual passion NOW. That doesn't mean there never was or that there never will. Let me put this example (which is real): nowadays I play the piano 4 hours a day. 6 months ago I was playing only 1 hour a day. Probably in 6 months or 1 year, I will be playing 6-8 hours a day. Don't I have what it takes because I'm not passionately and disciplined playing 8 hours a day? No, I do have what it takes, it's just that I lack enough discipline and don't feel the desperate need of playing 8 hours a day. I will achieve that though. Anyone saying I won't make it, will have to see and find himself wrong. (Just for the record, I had played several years before, this is not my first time studying the piano).
The same goes to my spiritual path. Here however, it would be like: should I feel great amounts of suffering, or a great discontent with life being experienced from an egotistal point, I would certainly passionately seek Truth, Freedom, Reality. But what if I found some relief, or calm, or came back to feeling some contentment? Then I would stop seeking so desperatesly. THAT doesn't mean I have no chances mate... Not according to my view, which is: with the right practise perfection is achievable. By the constant and disciplined practise of meditation, observation, inquiry, one can go un-identifying oneself from thought (it's different levels) and stablish more and more in Awareness and be conscious of Causality for example, more often. It is a gradual process which of course INCLUDES and REQUIRES bodhicitta. One is to gradually grow (or raise? what's the right word here?) the desire for Truth, Reality, Freedom. Please re-read what I posted on:
Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:03 am
I think you are expressing what you think I should be and do, instead of just seeing without judgement and interpretation. Also, don't compare yourself to the rest of people, because we are not the same. Each one has and is in different conditions-circumstances.
I think I would be womanly thinking if I depended on what others said about me, be it approval or dissaproval for instance.
For many years I was in the position of knowing where I was, and knowing that as long as I continued like that I wouldn't change or start changing. My knowing my condition wasn't enough for me wanting to change (if I didn't really want to change). Now it's different, I accept my tendencies, my amount of willing to change, and I deal with it from where I am (which is enough to start changing).
Greetings