Sorry for all this...

[RalphPL]

They don't know what's wrong with me. I'm bright and they said something about my being intricate in thinking.... PROMISING! So...I've been prescribed Citalopram 20mg - it's an anti-depressant. I don't feel like putting shit (which isn't fully understood) into my body ...I'd rather stick with my beer (~Hey, it's been "studied" for thousands of years!:)) Blahblahblah . . . .

Dan, David, and Kevin ...I believed in you guyz! ...I still do...somewhat. Help me.

I don't need anymore bullshit.

(ex. The mountain is there, it isn't, and finally...it truly is! -- What has been learnt from that?)

Everything seems bullshit! What the fuck? (*I've been certain, yet nothing seems to be so...)

[RalphPL]

I guess I must lack in understanding...

Painful.

[average]

lol wut?

[RalphPL]

Right, that helps. Thanks!

[RalphPL]

Not to worry. I'll eventually kill myself.

[Dan Rowden]

First thing: stop thinking philosophically. I mean that very seriously. You're simply not equipped to do it right now; it can only be damaging to you. Philosophy is not a form of psychotherapy. Secondly, stop thinking "everything" is bullshit. It isn't; even I don't think like that. Thirdly, do what your doctors tell you! Forget the fucking beer. If you're suffering depression, alcohol will simply make it worse. You may not need to stop drinking at a social level but you sure as shit need to stop using beer medicinally.

Finally, stop thinking about QSR as something to "believe" in. We're just guys pushing an agenda. That agenda is entirely beyond your reach at the moment. Your needs are more immediate. Attend to them first.

[edit: P.S. threatening suicide to get attention is a very counterproductive thing to do. You might want to quit with that.]

[RalphPL]

ok

Dan, can you please delete this thread. I took 8times my prescribed dose and drank 8beers at the time. I wasn't able to go all the way.

Oh and the psychologist said that he thinks I may have a thought disorder. Weird huh?

Why, why, WHY...

[Shahrazad]

Oh and the psychologist said that he thinks I may have a thought disorder.

Nah!

[brokenhead]

Dan, can you please delete this thread. I took 8times my prescribed dose and drank 8beers at the time. I wasn't able to go all the way.

All the way? That's far enough.
Careful with mixing drugs, young man. You want to keep that dialog in your head open, trust me on this one.
It's a little-known fact that humans are built with a way out that does not involve external means. You have to be able to state a case to the life-carriers that have the job of ferrying you across the River Styx, because they have to be able to explain their passengers when they get to the other side.
If you want to go, you can go, the the PTB want to make sure you know what you are doing.
If you mix drugs, you are usurping authority that is not rightfully yours.

I kind of hope Dan leaves this thread. Who in their right minds joins a "Genius" forum, anyway? We all have thought disorders, or what we feel are "conditions" that set us apart from our neighbors and make us - we feel - less functional than they seem to be.

I think these forums have stayed more than a few self-destructive hands from carrying out irremediable acts.

Hang in there and keep writing to us, okay? We get something out of it even if you don't.

[Tomas]

dele

[RalphPL]

Brokenhead,

We get something out of it even if you don't.

I feel my posts are worthless, so what can you possibly get out of them?

Many factors cause mental disorders, fine! But what happens to a healthy brain that sets it off in the wrong direction? And once it starts it seems to have a rolling snowball effect, everything gets worse. When it seems like its getting better, it's actually picking up speed and growing larger.

I have these flashes of reality where I see the truth and it all makes sense. During those times, it feels like I switched brains, it is I, yet with substantially improved tools. Maybe it's a psychosis, but I doubt it, because I'm rational, more then ever.

I can't seem to open up to my psychologist, the more we talk the farther I get from who I am. I forget this part of me and become someone else. How can it possibly help.

[RobertGreenSky]

Hang in there, Ralph.

Dan gave you some good advice in suggesting you avoid thinking about the issues discussed here. You cannot make any leap from where you are to what is often implied at Genius Forum, an 'enlightenment' or an 'unburdening'. It just won't happen. Be good to yourself - please don't mix the pills and the alcohol - and do please take Dan's advice.

[RalphPL]

Dan,

First thing: stop thinking philosophically.

I don't view it as "philosophical" thinking. To myself, it's simply thinking (or deep thinking) and I can't seem to shut that off. Most of it, seems like a huge waste of time, however I cannot help that.

That agenda is entirely beyond your reach at the moment.

How do you know? No offense, it's just that you don't know me and you really don't know how my mind works or the limits of my understanding.

Your needs are more immediate. Attend to them first.

I'm trying.

[RalphPL]

Fuck, something is seriously wrong with me. I'm losing the ability to do things, such as making myself a sandwich, reading...

It's impossible to make sense out of what's happening..

[Dan Rowden]

Take the meds you were prescribed - now. Take them as prescribed. Under no circumstances turn to self-help here. And try to relax. If thinking about stuff is just what comes naturally to you, then fair enough, it will probably be very difficult to shut that off. Just let it flow and don't take it all too seriously. Don't expect outcomes from it. It's obvious you need to get some control over your situation. That needs to be your priority now.

[brokenhead]

I feel my posts are worthless, so what can you possibly get out of them?

You know your posts are not worthless because you are posting and getting replies. You have something to share or you wouldn't have posted in the first place.

No one on this forum knows you or how you think, that is true. But some of us may have had the same thoughts as you have, isn't that possible?

If you have medical care, you should accecpt it and take only the medications that have been prescribed for you and in the manner they have been prescribed.

If the psychiatric care you are getting isn't working, change it. Keep asking for help. And if these forums help you in any way, keep reading and keep posting. If you think your thoughts are weird and unmanageable, just check out the archives of this forum. You are not alone.

[sapincher]

lol wut?

I completely agree with you. I have no idea what's going on.