Compete Detachment from All Family

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MKFaizi

Compete Detachment from All Family

Post by MKFaizi » Mon Dec 26, 2005 2:19 pm

I made that final break today. I finally realized that I do not belong with them. We have common early experiences but nothing else. This was my last Christmas. No more Thanksgivings. No more birthdays. I'm done.

My kids no longer need me and I do not need them.

I am on my own.

Thank God.

Faizi

hades
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Post by hades » Mon Dec 26, 2005 3:02 pm

Chicken.

LooF
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Post by LooF » Mon Dec 26, 2005 6:30 pm

your daughter is just like you

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Kevin Solway
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Re: Compete Detachment from All Family

Post by Kevin Solway » Mon Dec 26, 2005 9:49 pm

MKFaizi wrote:I made that final break today. I finally realized that I do not belong with them
What happened?

catsndogs
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Re: Compete Detachment from All Family

Post by catsndogs » Tue Dec 27, 2005 2:22 am

MKFaizi wrote:I made that final break today. I finally realized that I do not belong with them. We have common early experiences but nothing else. This was my last Christmas. No more Thanksgivings. No more birthdays. I'm done.

My kids no longer need me and I do not need them.

I am on my own.

Thank God.

Faizi
ksolway wrote:
MKFaizi wrote:I made that final break today. I finally realized that I do not belong with them
What happened?
I think I see how this forum works now. One creates the summary first, then others bring the topic back to the beginning question. I guess it's like the TV show jeopardy.

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David Quinn
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Post by David Quinn » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:05 am

Either that, or Kevin was simply enquiring about the details behind Marsha's cryptic opening post.

In any case, why are you speaking for others? I thought that was supposed to be a no-no.
I will never validate any comment made by one person that portends to be speaking for others.

These are your words.


-

catsndogs
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Post by catsndogs » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:09 am

That's a reach. I'm just commenting on how the threads seem to operate. Equating it to the TV show Jeopardy was not meant as an insult.

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David Quinn
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Post by David Quinn » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:18 am

No, but you were speaking for others, attempting to analyze their intentions.

-

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:22 am

Loof, how do you know that my daughter is just like me?

Kevin, nothing particlar happened. Just small things. Similar things had probably happened before. The difference was in the seeing.

I am glad that it is done.

Faizi

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Post by catsndogs » Tue Dec 27, 2005 10:41 am

The vagueness of your answer doesn't really prove your position.

If you put the situation in context it may allow yourself or others to see another conclusion than the one you have arrived.

Is creating a new, different viewpoint essential? Not necessarily, but when it comes to family, you're supposed to try harder than with strangers.

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Tue Dec 27, 2005 11:08 am

My answer was not vague and I have no position to prove.

I don't give a fuck how others view it.

Faizi

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sue hindmarsh
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Post by sue hindmarsh » Tue Dec 27, 2005 1:58 pm

Marsha,

Do you see this 'event' as a philosophical growth?

Sue

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Post by catsndogs » Tue Dec 27, 2005 3:15 pm

MKFaizi wrote:My answer was not vague and I have no position to prove.

I don't give a fuck how others view it.

Faizi
Your answer below was vague.....
MKFaizi wrote:Loof, how do you know that my daughter is just like me?

Kevin, nothing particlar happened. Just small things. Similar things had probably happened before. The difference was in the seeing.

I am glad that it is done.

Faizi
....and your use of the word "it" is huge.

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Post by LooF » Tue Dec 27, 2005 6:10 pm

catsndogs, you are truly inappropriate

marsha, good luck

catsndogs
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Post by catsndogs » Tue Dec 27, 2005 6:40 pm

Loof, I suggest you read from the top of this thread all the way to here and decide if your last response was appropriate.
Last edited by catsndogs on Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Compete Detachment from All Family

Post by DHodges » Wed Dec 28, 2005 7:10 am

MKFaizi wrote:My kids no longer need me and I do not need them.
I thought your kids were fairly young and still living with you. Have they moved out?

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Wed Dec 28, 2005 12:49 pm

My son is fifteen and he went to live with his grandparents when he was about eleven. I have seen him daily over the past four years. He has come home often for weekends.

My daughter was compelled to leave a couple of months ago after her ex-boyfriend made it clear that he would kill her. She won't come back until I move from here -- in about a year or so. She is staying with a family in the Appalachian wilderness. She will be eighteen in May. Living in the sticks has been good for her. She was always Elly May Faizi -- a true redneck woman. Coon hunter. Coyote hunter.

Just for laughs, here is what a man recently asked her while she was at work: "Did God give you all that at once or did you have to ask for it in parts?"

Funny as hell.

Many women are very uptight about that sort of thing. Rock and I thought it was a hoot. No man ever paid me such a compliment.

I love my kids. I just recognize the need for separation. Both are better off without me. I always knew that. Growing up, my kids lived in a make-shift commune. Dozens and dozens of kids here all the time. Many slept here. Fifteen in a bed was not unusual.

You just can't give thirty kids a lot of attention. I had an electronic megaphone.

I don't think the commune was a good thing for my kids. They do have good memories of The Doors and The Kinks and Jimmy Hendrix; Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen; Ice Tea and that other Tea.

Not that they do not feel my influence and genetic predisposition. They do.

I always had a thousand different names for them. The other night, Rock said, "How did you come up with those names? I mean, what is a Pequank?"

"You just looked like a Pequank from time to time. Sometimes, you looked like Latin Louise. Other times, you looked like Jodie Elaine. Sometimes, you looked like Hamster Eye. Then, you looked like Globosa."

I reckon they never knew who they were.

Both are better off living separately from me. The world is my home and a kid needs a home separate from the world. Kids need protection and I never provided that.

Faizi

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Wed Dec 28, 2005 12:53 pm

Catshogs,

My answer was not vague and I have no position to prove.

Faizi

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Wed Dec 28, 2005 12:56 pm

Sue,

I think it is growth. I think split from family is inevitable.

Faizi

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Post by catsndogs » Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:03 pm

Having a small part of one's being that isn't "about me" is a good thing.

The jettisoning of the family in some instances can fuel the me me me part and extinguish the "small part" that is not about me.

That doesn't mean one forces relationships to exist when perhaps it's best they don't continue, but some times family relationships can evolve and change rather than simply be chucked.

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:02 pm

Stooge,

I did not chuck my family. I don't hate any of them. They are decent people. I am just not part of them anymore. I have the same blood but I don't belong to the clan. I did not chuck them. The separation is just a rather natural and expected thing.

Here is an example. At Christmas, my sisters and sister in law -- all married -- ask each other, "What did you get?" Then, they all show their ears or their wrists or their necks to display new and very expensive jewelery. Looks like exhibiting trophies of some kind. Same thing with birthdays. My younger sister has a built-in closet for her jewelery in her bedroom. Gold, silver, diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, rubies. Tons of bling bling.

Nothing wrong with that. Personally, however, I would feel guilty about all that junk.

I am not married and I don't get anything. Definitely don't want anything. I am not jealous.

My life is very different from my sisters. I struggle to pay bills. My family is all business people. I think of them as rich though they are really what used to be middle class. I seldom say much when I am around them. We have little in common.

This past Christmas, they were stunned that I know as much as I do about medicine. They think of me as retarded. I don't have jewelery.

One without jewelery is retarded.

It's not a matter of chucking.

I am chucked and I recognize it.

Faizi

catsndogs
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Post by catsndogs » Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:34 pm

I have a nickname! Stooge.

I pretty much connect with everything you wrote. It's why I love my neighbors but found it best to not get too involved in their lives because once heartfelt disgreements arise, one has to still see them everyday and whether it's a wave, or a scowl, neither one seems to cut it once our differences are displayed.

Just a suggestion, don't socialize with your clan in large group settings. Socialize with them one on one, it may prove very refreshing to them and you may find connections that would never reveal themselves during a holiday fracas.

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:37 pm

Thanks for the suggestions, Stooge, however inane.

I don't socialize with anyone. I have shown up on demand because of blood ties.

I have spoken with my parents and siblings individually many times. Here is what "we" have in common: We all loathe George Bush and we all opposed the stink Iraqi war. We all agreed that the WMD thing was a big fat lie. Three of us are interested in the root causes of homicide. Several of us are depressives. Several of us are obsessive compulsives -- not me. I am in the depressive faction. My mother and my daughter and my one nephew are considered to be ADHD or bipolar. I was bipolar but I changed my mind.

Stooge is not a nickname. It's a fact.

Faizi

MKFaizi

Post by MKFaizi » Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:47 pm

Stooge,

It is my hope that you will not receive my messages negatively. Not because I give a shit. I don't.

But you should.

Faizi

catsndogs
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Post by catsndogs » Thu Dec 29, 2005 6:19 pm

I've met bipolar people, lol, you don't just decide not to be one.

Your perception of my comments is your perception, and in your case you sell them short.

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