So, Lacan’s view is that the kid does an A=B thing in the final stages of The Imaginary. When he sees the image of his body in the mirror (A), he assumes it is self (B) and thus firmly establishes a self-other dichotomy that is the fundamental (deluded) basis upon which s/he enters The Symbolic Order.
The Imaginary and The Symbolic Order co-exist -- The Imaginary providing the (conceptual) structural possibility (referred to as “Other†-- capital “oâ€) of self and other/s and The Symbolic the complementary language: “Iâ€, “youâ€, “usâ€.
The difference between Freud and Lacan’s stress on the unconscious (due, in fact, to the progression of knowledge in language and grammar) is further highlighted with respect to an observation of Freud’s 18-month old nephew. He’s sitting on the floor throwing a spool away and saying “gone,†then pulling it back and saying “here.†Freud concludes that he is “replaying separation anxiety†(from the mother) through this actions. Lacan, however, articulates it as both the entrance into The Symbolic and the basic structure of language itself. He posits that the spool serves as a little other (objet petite a) and that, through this action, the child recognises that others can disappear and reappear. Lacan insists that the child is primarily concerned with the idea of absence/loss/lack of the little other (objet petit a. This, as stated by Lacan, is the only new thing he has added to Freud.) This action demonstrates to the child unwholeness -- incompleteness. And hinged upon this is the whole purpose of language itself, which must assume that something is lacking to be of any use.
Hence, in The Symbolic, there is a structuring principle of Otherness -- a position to which all other elements relate. The position of the Other thus creates and sustains a never-ending Lack, called Desire by Lacan. Lacan says, “Desire is the desire to be the Other.“ Thus desire is not desire for an object and, as such, can never be fulfilled.
This position is also called, by Lacan, the Phallus (the place where there is no lack). With Freud’s description of the Oedipus Complex and Castration, the dude with the dick is The Father: The Lawmaker. Whereas penises belong to individual people, the Phallus belongs to the structure of language itself. Submission to the rules of language by both boys and girls is necessary to enter The Symbolic Order. It is these rules that Lacan calls The Law of the Father in order to tie the entry into The Symbolic into Freud’s Oedipus Complex and Castration.
So, The Real is the state of union with the mother’s body which must be broken up in order to enter “adulthood.†Then, in The Imaginary phase, the child begins to identify Otherness as a structuring principle and gets the idea of a misrecognised “self†based on the other in the mirror -- an image. This image sets your position up in The Symbolic Order -- where gender relations begin to play out based on the image “I†-- and you may now refer to yourself, in speech, as “I,†which stabilises all other words in terms of meaning since they are fixed against the structuring principle of the rules of language (Law).
How can a woman feel like she already has a dick?
It’s called metaphor. :)
When you speak in terms of what the penis represents (that which satisfies the Lack), as opposed to what it actually is, you speak in metaphor. Just like boys and girls alike can suffer penis envy, girls can have a penis. It’s not literally about the act of fucking, but the basis of Desire itself.
Granted, boys do have a dick which may give them the impression that with it they can fill the mother’s Lack (or any lack) -- but you can see, with a little thought and hopefully in light of some of the other ideas I‘ve written about here, the ways in which that idea becomes problematic.


