My questions and concerns, and my views

Discussion of the nature of Ultimate Reality and the path to Enlightenment.
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throughthemud
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:52 am

My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

First things first, I am excited. Excitement is a double edged sword, it makes the moments exciting, but, less clarity of thought. Sometimes when I am deep in the night I have clarity of thought. Night is feminine though. Perhaps feminity can contribute to genius, maybe genius is a combination of both genders. As far as excitement goes, sometimes its a case of "Get thee behind me Satan", othertimes, the feeling is welcomed.

Since I am excited, I can't say my post exactly how I was going to say it. But it is important. I feel like I am Enlightened, but I am not sure if I am. I am not sure what Enlightenment actually is. I just feel it is so. For instance, many things we think are real are just feelings. For example, people say we have "3D" vision. Well actually we don't have 3D vision, our vision is 2 2d images with an alpha overlap. Essentially it renders as just 1 final 2d image. It feels "3D" because our nerve endings activate in one eye causing eye ASMR type feelings. It is not actually 3D vision, it is 2d vision linked with eye ASMR type feelings giving the feeling of 3D images poking at you.

So back to Enlightenment, I'm not sure what it actually is. I just feel like life is meaningless and futile. I feel like ego is a fuel and juice to do things. I don't see ego as inherently evil. For example, as Enlightened I don't see what the point of making a business is. I am already dead and my business is already dead. Does it matter if I'm rich or poor maybe it does, because I could have higher quality of moments. Well do I care about my moments? Don't know if I do. Think I do though, because its a matter of fighting off demons. Demons always telling me I don't have a high enough ratio of good moments in my life. That I'm alone. That my life has no substance. But at the same time, these Enlightened demons tell me "Why bother"? Why make a business, when you're already dead? Plus, all these people you can't relate to. Better off to be alone than around annoying people you can't relate to. See, me and the demons can't make up our minds. Should we do things, or not do things? Should we socialize, or not socialize? Ego is kind of a juice a fuel to give meaning to our lives.

But more on this. Can't spell lives without lies. But are our lives living lies? Can't say. Are we already dead, or are we eternal? I got some questions. Is Buddism true or is it a lie? Point being, is I don't want to rebirth into Earth, and Buddism says that it is possible to rebirth onto another planet when your body dies. Is this the truth? I don't want to go to the grave not knowing. What is the path that is to be taken? Reason being is I don't think Earth is "the garden of eden" as is described in the blog, and i don't want to rebirth into it. I would be grateful if anyone can show me the path out of the chamber of 32 doors.

I will explain why Earth is not the garden of eden and why I don't want to rebirth into it. Though moments are finite, they still exist. some types of pain is good, others are bad. For instance, sadness can be a good type of pain. But imagine if you had a nerve condition where you were in constant excruciating pain. That would be bad. So rebirthing into a body or world that gave you a lifetime of bad moments like this, would be bad, and not 'garden of eden'. Another possibility, is you might get stuck and constantly rebirth into these same type of bodies, without the power to change your path. This would be bad and horrifying. Therefore it is imperative that we learn the path to escape Earth's spawn cycle, if such a path exists, and to determine if it does, and if it does, how to take it.

Now you might say that Earth's spawn cycle is decent. That only 10% of life is pain, and that's an acceptable ratio. I wouldn't say it is, because let's think of the universe as operating in frames. Now, the very concept of frames is absurd but lets use it as a thought method. Let's imagine ourselves as little entities who are generating new frames for each new moment. When we are in pain, it takes more processing power to generate frames. Thus, pain is the same as laggy frames, and goodness is the same as highspeed frames. Therefore, time takes a new identity. According to the calendar, only 10% of our lives are pain, but since 'time flies when you're having fun", actually it means that way more than 10% of our lives are pain.

Now, some people want to exit existence because they feel Nature is "too much" for them. But sometimes it feels the other way around - nature is "not enough". Its the same tropes, procedurally generated vistas. We've seen one tree we've seen lots of trees. we've seen lakes and grass before. In the modern age, with computers and all sorts of entertainment, you might say "never a dull moment". But life is littered with dull moments. Nature is not only "too much", but "not enough'. Now you might have escaped the cravings, but what is the point of escaping cravings? You're still at square one. Being god can be dull. Escaping samsara can be dull. The dullity of a moment is wholly dependent on chemicals and thought types. For instance, when we are dreaming about nature, it is rarely dull. So you try to alter your thought types to produce the appropriate chemicals but it can only go so far. Eventually you thirst for a rebirth out of Earth space. Because the bottomline, is your enjoyment is dependent on chemicals. People say they are happier as Enlightened, but that is because they have altered their chemicals. Enlightenment itself is not inherently happy or unhappy, it is simply an altered outlook. The real gravy is the chemicals.

Now you might ask, why do chemicals feel good or bad? I'm not sure why myself. Chemicals are bit different than our visual field. Our visions sees existence as it is, or at least coherent relative to itself. But things like tastes and feelings, they are transformed into tastes and feelings. We have a chemical image, which is somehow transformed into the taste of garlic. The transformation process is incredibly mysterious. The human platform may still have potential as a masochistic platform though. With modern medicine at the helm the main issue is social mechanics causing an unbalanced game. I'm a bit tired of the Earth game but I believe with some tweaks the human platform may be salvageable and has potential as a good host of consciousness. The question is, who needs saving? How do we know everybody on Earth is sentient? We don't. In fact, some of them may not be sentient. The very idea of multitudes of consciousnesses (realities) being active in the same calendar time seems logically incoherent. Free will is also incoherent. Free will is simply a cluster of neurons gaining energy, if it reaches over 50% threshold action is taken, if not, the other part of your brain that you are hearing says something negative. Otherwise, the part of your brain you identify with says something positive, in conjunction with the cluster of neurons gaining energy, creating the illusion of agency. That is not to say, that paths cannot be taken. Paths are always forged, and finding and forging new paths, this is simply part of the Cosmic plan. I don't want to go to the grave not knowing what will happen.

So I guess my question is, is Buddism true and can/does one rebirth into better worlds?
My assertions are many, but my questions are few.
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Russell Parr
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by Russell Parr »

Hello throughthemud, welcome aboard. Interesting post, I think you'll do fine here.

First I want reiterate something you already said in your post, that enlightenment is not so much a feeling, but a perspective. Feeling excited about enlightenment is natural, but it doesn't have much to do with it. Also, if you are enlightened, you would know it. If you question it, then it is questionable.

Regarding reincarnation, it is just another hope-based idea people cling to just like the Christian concept of resurrection. How is anyone to know what happens after death? Has someone died, come back and reported their findings? How could we verify such a claim? Moreover, why do you fret over it? Do you worry about what tomorrow will look like when you go to bed at night? How worried are you of a terrorist attack when you go to the store? People only worry about the future that they project hopes and fears onto.

Furthermore, what is death anyway? If, as you said, you are already dead, then what is alive? You can say life and death exists in any moment you wish. Tomorrow represents a new life just as sure as the very next moment. What we define to be dead or alive is by convenience only. Remember that when you give thought to something, you are projecting the premise as well as what follows.
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Diebert van Rhijn
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by Diebert van Rhijn »

Hi mud, welcome. Some fragments I'll pick to comment on. Perhaps you can find through dialogue the question underneath the question? And discover what it really is you want to share or find out from others?
throughthemud wrote:Perhaps feminity can contribute to genius, maybe genius is a combination of both genders.
Human is a combination of gender, as has been analysed pretty well by Weininger. As what contributes to genius, only the genius would know for himself as he nurtures himself, because who else can do that?

You can call the night or feeling feminine of course and then embrace them: in both cases you are doing the typical masculine act: creating man & woman.
I just feel like life is meaningless and futile.
But you are comparing it somewhere in your mind to a memory of what it is to feel life or a moment to be meaningful and relevant, not?

It's also interesting to note the effect of certain chemicals (drugs, hormonal release and balance) on the sense of meaning, connection and priority setting.
I feel like ego is a fuel and juice to do things. I don't see ego as inherently evil.
Well, if it's indeed fuel and juice, you just defined it as rather important and of course "good". When talking about ego it gets complex when a Freudian perspective (reality principle) is mixed with Buddhist notions of self (desire and attachment).
Should we do things, or not do things? Should we socialize, or not socialize? Ego is kind of a juice a fuel to give meaning to our lives.
Motivations are not something you can shop for. They arise out of your context. If things look meaningless to you, that's simply cause and effect, probably because you've detached a bit from the elements normally impregnating you with desire or need to do stuff. Sometimes it's also caused just by the state of the body, the balance of powers inside it, which tie in with everything we do, eat, how we move and so on.
Another possibility, is you might get stuck and constantly rebirth into these same type of bodies, without the power to change your path. This would be bad and horrifying.
Nietzsche had a similar frightening thought: the eternal recurrence of each and every moment exactly like it is now. Or in other words the idea you are already stuck in constant and exact rebirth. Nothing to change, you'll forever return and do the same. At least it would make the moment a bit more important since it's for ever happening :)
So I guess my question is, is Buddism true and can/does one rebirth into better worlds?
My assertions are many, but my questions are few.
Well so many assertions (the "10000 things") are one manifestation of rebirth, of information, of question marks leading to question marks. Buddhism advocates the possibility to abandon the wheel of rebirth. Not sure if anyone on this forum right now is a "Buddhist" but many see wisdom in the approach.

The path however could include lower anxiety, to practise some focus to allow for the nature of emptiness to become more clear. The question first however: what it is exactly what you desire to happen? Peace? Audience? Reproducing your self? Self-knowledge is important with every attempt to find out what is "true" or with any path you want to take exploring your questions further.
throughthemud
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

I did not mean excited about Enlightenment. Enlightenment is not exciting, nothing to get excited for it. I meant I get excited when I am in the midst of making a new writing. It's a double edged sword, some could say excitement feels "good", whatever "good" means, one could argue that sadness and crying also feels "good" too. One thing we can all agree on, is that unending and unyielding nervous sensations of pain and fire on your body does not feel "good" and cannot be argued as feeling good. It's a bit different than a hot-wax fetish, which can be argued as "good".

The problem with excitement, is it prevents me from having a clear mind. Words don't come out the exact way I had planned. On the internet, communicating through text, it loses some of the profundity of my internal dialogue. But profundity is an illusion any way. It arises due to aesthetics and feelings, the "feeling" of something being profound. The childish excitement we feel during learning a new paradox, a subconscious feeling of campy ASMR hypnotism. Really it's "What did we learn, what does it do, and how do we get there". When you break it down to it's core, you realize that profundity is really a sublime feeling of godliness, that arises when some facts and procedures are deemed greater significance than others (such, as the processes of universal mechanics.) The feeling is a bit like a child unraveling a present. And what is another word for it - present - gifts are in the present it's about cherishing the present.

Not all of life is meaningless, for instance it's about finding paths and ways to generate bigger and higher quality strings of moments. Illuminating the path might be beneficial, and thus, we might as well deem it important. If clicking one one button could somehow change the pattern of rebirth to either a higher or lower quality, well suddenly that decision is important, and life isn't quite so meaningless. The metaphorical button could be anything, even deciding to overthrow a certain authority figure, if that figure promised us low quality rebirth cycles, so by defying them, a significant amount of low quality moments that could be avoided.
Do I walk around paranoid of terrorism.
I used to, as a child. I was very feminine, polite and courteous to everyone. I was very quiet around guests and always crossed my legs and played with the cat. I wanted to join the Air Force, I thought oh what a great country. I was always afraid terrorists or bullies would get me. I was fearful of school because of all the bullies.

Then a somewhat masculine fellow, he was a very angry and outspoken young man, told me that my country was not so great, and informed me about some things. But that was a long time ago. My memory processing centers have updated their neurons. Those moment's don't even stir my consciousness anymore. But his words have shaped me into who I am today, a long time ago I bought all of the common lies, even religious dogma at one point. I thought society was insane, yet did not realize I was as insane as everyone else.

I notice myself, when navigating human spheres, feel intensely negative emotions. Humans are a very negative and often unsettling species to linger around. I'll read depressive news stories, and all the religious, ape like comments. And I will start feeling very unclearheaded and negative. Then I'll think to myself? Why do I feel so negative? These people don't have power over me. They are weaker than me, less evolved than me, like insects and bugs. Why do I give them so much power to make me feel negative? Haven't they done enough damage with their mere existence? Why must I contribute to the suffering, by making the cosmos within me suffer even more because of them?

And then I go to the root thing behind the arising of the negative feelings. What exactly about it bothers me the most? Really, I think what bothers me the most is their inferior thought processes themselves. It is not so much the evil deeds which disturb me greatest, but their underlying flawed thought processes behind their behaviors which is most disturbing to me. Seeing a swarm of these entities, all with these inferior thought processes, makes me deeply uncomfortable and disturbed. But then I see the funny side. I say, hey, isn't this all a bowl of laughs. And that is one of the key advantages to the human organism. It has the ability to combat and escape the clutches of samsara, just by laughing! It's almost like a cheat code - get out of samsara free, Laugh as you pass Go. If you feel the gravity of samsara pulling you - Just laugh! It'll even the playing field.

There's another technique I used, called "cat". Sometimes I'll make a stupid mistake, and enter the realms of endless guilt over something quite trivial. I find myself getting angry for no reason, or some trivial reason. My cat in the background will meow, and it will fill me with rage. Then I stop and I say, why the rage? My cat doesn't give a shit. My cat is an innocent animal, my cat is just minding it's own business, my cat is an animal, yet acting more rational than I am. Then I sober up and I say - Why am I getting so mad over something so trivial? Sometimes humans even act lower than animals, and an animal can be the voice of reason sometimes.

I read recently one of your posts saying "Love is violence." But I also read that this is the place to have your thoughts bloodied and dangerous. It's a feminine tendency to walk a living lie, do something but say you are not that thing which you do. So I will be brutally honest - I love violence. And we all love violence. Even supposed pacifists like violence. Society might shame and guilt me for saying it, but isn't that a testament to it's hypocrasy, as society by and large makes more profits than I do, from violence. Violence is a beautiful thing. It's splendor elevates the spirits to higher depths. i suspect that you too, Diebert, like violence. So your statement "Love is violence", can't be viewed as derogatory, but promotion of love. If this is the place to have "thoughts bloodied and dangerous", isn't "bloodied and dangerous" almost the same as violence? Therefore, if Love is violence, and we give our regards to "bloodied and dangerous", then we give our regards to love. Dear society, let's not pretend to be liars. We all like violence (or most of us do) or else why do violence hollywood films make millions of dollars? Why do you preach like you want world peace, when deep down, your whole body and spirit lusts for blood? Dear society, are you also a coward? Only like violence on others, but not yourself?
So, inserting the old terrorism question, I can say terrorism does not bother me. What is the consequence of a few blown up buildings here and there? What is more frightening, are people who are such cowards, that they would rather become slaves, putting chips in their bodies, rather than walk outside on a clear day. Really, the odds are of dying in a car crash, several hundred times higher than dying in a terrorist bombing, at least in developed countries. If death bothers you, then what reason do you have to believe that the entities you trust will not bestow death on you?

We love violence, and we mourn when a soldier dies. What is the exact reason we mourn? We mourn because he can no longer participate in violence. His body is dead, and he will no longer be able to see the glory and vigor of combat, no longer able to fight with his comrades or his ideals. It is truly a tragedy. World peace, would be akin to death, banning of guns, a literal death of all men. That is not to say, that all men's guns do not shoot un true. Men are not the reason for the worlds ills, only a handful are. I read that laughably insane article written by the woman who wanted to ban men. Do not women contribute to littering and habitat destruction? Are not women greedy consumers? Does not Hillary Clinton drop as many bombs as any man? So, why do we weep when a village dies/ We weep because they are no longer animated. We weep the same reason we weep for a dead animal, or bug. It is silenced. It can no longer perform it's insect routines. The image is still, serene, and it is rather sad. We weep not for the future, but for the past. But when a great man dies, we weep for the future. We weep because we will never witness "what could of been". Perhaps a future of good moments, forever erased from happening. And when a strange man dies, we feel strange. Did the man ever get to experience life's splendors? Or did he die in the clutches of samsara, still hungry and full of despair? We can never feel comfortable about it.

But not all violence is palatable. There are the hysterical women, and the demented/delusional woman. There are some other types of women too. The demented woman is quite fascinated with the macabre. A man likes violence because he is a man of action. Blood is not so much a matter of importance to him. But the demented woman, she is not satisfied unless her action has blood in it. Therefore, the man who not satisfied without gore, may have feminine qualities he is afraid to explore, due to his own feminine nature.

But love hosts a violence even more brutal than blood or gore. It is the blood of delusion. There are many types of love, some more toxic than others. Perhaps the most vile is delusional love. Perhaps you met a woman that you don't really know, your pheromones kick in and you wake up one morning, with her infected your mind. You thought you had escaped sasmara but the poison had did you in. Due to the dishonest nature of women, you can't tell her how you feel, lest she pass judgement on you and leave you in the dust. But perhaps this is precisely what needs to occur, less the insanity deepen. But cutting sometimes leaves a scar. Sometimes, scars never heal. Little black holes with you forever, dangerous pitfalls to the path of samsara. Love is, arguably, the most toxic and dangerous delusion of delusions, even more toxic than paranoid delusions, which often can be proven to not be delusions, in this day and age.

This is the danger of fraud gurus, or youngsters who wear shirts about love. Sure, they wear shirts about love, but what are the statistical odds that if, asking for a friendship with them, that they would respond with kindness and enthusiasm? The chances are grim. similar to a society who says they want peace, yet their whole spirit craves for war, how can they be trusted? How can a society which promotes love, yet makes love so difficult to access, be trusted? Can you look to humans for honesty and openness? It is said that "only beasts are above deceit". i would hazard a guess, that the majority of humans are walking lies, and addition to being liars, they are also walking pitfalls of samsara. This is the danger of a fraudulent guru promoting love as enlightenment. They've missed the forest for the trees.
Enlightenment is not love, enlightenment is a mental thought program. These are idiots and children who promote the idea that love is enlightenment. And you won't find much love in them either, fraud gurus are walking lies who rarely practice what they preach. Yo'd just as soon find more love in a rock. Religious people, or people with Alzheimer's, go so far as to call them demons. Love is most certainly not enlightenment. But an Enlightened person can see both the values and dangers of love - some love can lead to better moments, other types of love can lead to insanity, and darkness.

But one must explore insanity and darkness to find out what it really is. Society has entered what can non-other be called as the "dark ages". People think it's a good idea to chip everybody, because it keeps us safe. People who ban, block, and censor communications of anyone with an idea that makes them uncomfortable. It is truly treading on ice in the modern times. Even scientific avenues, like History channel, have entered the darkness. They make videos about the anti-christ and they do it with religious fervor. The world has gone insane, this is undeniable. And does this make me afraid? The only thing that makes me afraid, is not having a weapon to combat the insanity. The fact that an entire species has gone mad, does not bother me. What bothers me is that I am defenseless to do anything about it. That if they wanted to, they could nuke me to smithereens just because I haven't paid insurance to the gang, or because I'd rather have my body buried, than cremated, which offends their religious customs. There isn't a nuke big enough that would fix the world. And maybe the Anti-Christ is real. But the world is all the more insane, for having a literal Anti-Christ, or a guy in a custom pretending to be the Anti-Christ, full filling ancient prophecy as part of a game. People associate Illuminati with the word "Enlightened Ones". Well if the Illuminati is enlightened, I'd hate to see the Illuminati that isn't enlightened. so called "Truthers" are really clowns, part of the problem themselves. Maybe the Illuminati is still real. But I don't see how transgenders entering bathrooms, or Catholics putting pictures of animals in walls, has the same level of seriousness and fear associated with and gives them the same level paranoia as UAV drones and habitat destruction. Its the insane led by the insane, fighting the insane. It's all quite laughable.

Stopping to see the baboons in their natural habitat is downright hilarious. It's funny to see what the word "genius" has turned into. It really amounts to a couple of chatty, feminized men talking about IQ's. Bring's me back to the gradeschool days. Society is literally like a gradeschool, people wanting to be rich so they can buy bigger houses and cars, and looking down on those who don't contribute to the "global good". It's all so juvenile. You have to stop and wonder, do any of these people actually have sentience or are they talking heads with noone upstairs? These high IQ types, their neurons seem to form branches and trees devoted to a certain area, with no connect to anything outside that area. For instance, a so called "math genius" might be good at mathematics, but quite poor at making anything useful to society or reality. Essentially, when his room is nuked by nazis, he is still sitting in his cubicle, obvious to the outside around him. Such a man should not be called genius, but a fool. Dying at age 45, what a waste.. He could have structured his thoughts to revolve around important things, such as consciousness, life, or death - but instead, his neurons attached to the mostly meaningless religion of mathematics. Real, well-rounded geniuses are few and hard to come by. And if you do encounter one, they might even be brainwashed to view you as their enemy.

I am a finished man. I've done that all that is expected to be done. The end of the world doesn't bother me that much. I've had a lot of unhappy years dwelling in samsara. But I've done all of the things society, and my own biology said was important to do. I've had mediocre, sub-par sex one or two times. I've seen aesthetic beauty. I've won first prize at one or two contests. I've driven a car. So when the ashes start falling, what am I going to regret? Perhaps I should start a family. It seems like geniuses seem to be dwindling. What is the wisdom of all the supposed kabals? What is their method of culling? Would they have us believe they are for the Earth's best interest, by killing all of the Kevin Solways, the David Quinns, all the Dieberts of the world, and preserving all of the Bill Gate's, the Steve job's, the Ipod toting and fedora wearing modern men? Or perhaps that is the part of the plan all along. Perhaps a special present is in store when Armageddon hits.

If an when Armageddon hits, what only matters is the beyond. This is why I ask if I will rebirth to better worlds if I follow eight steps. Why do these ancient texts exist? Did the writers of Hinduism form these beliefs out of their butts, like mental diarrhea? Is there no truth to them? is it all one big joke? Why do they tell me that it is possible to enter a better planet when I die, in a literal, non-metaphoric literal planet sense? Was there any logic, empirical evidence, or subjective realizations in all of this, or was it literally just a gag made by a tired old man?

The Christian notion of Eternal heaven, seems logically parodoxial. So does the common secular notion that "nothingness" happens upon death. If such an eternity occurs, how could any other life but our own occur? Consciousness is singular. So if eternity is hogging the conscious experience, how can other consciousnesses be actually occurring? It's food for thought.
SeekerOfWisdom
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by SeekerOfWisdom »

The first thing to understand is that you're not enlightened. You have insight and you're on 'the path', but it seems you're still very confused, uncertain, and frankly, you demonstrate that you cling to a heap of delusions. My advice: want wisdom more. It comes hand in hand with absolute certainty, which is clarity. As long as you are unwaveringly honest with yourself, you'll know if you are still confused, you'll know if it is a pretence or not. If you're still confused, then you're not 'there' yet. So be honest with yourself, want wisdom, don't waver, and you'll get there.
throughthemud
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

Define which delusions I cling to.

Absolute certainty is a kind of delusion. I am certain that things exist as I perceive them, for the duration I perceive of them. That is the only absolute certainty there is, and anything else is delusion.

Define what wisdom is, then define what enlightenment is.
Youll get there
Get where? There is nowhere to go, except choosing paths and algorithms that lead to more desirable strings of moments.
SeekerOfWisdom
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by SeekerOfWisdom »

For a few paragraphs you described deeply negative emotions you go through. You also said you get very unclear headed. Some of your "solutions" were "Just laugh", another had to do with your contemplation on cats, both of which sound like temporary 'fixes' for deeper underlying issues. You also spoke about spontaneous bursts of rage.

You wrote:
"My memory processing centers have updated their neurons."
Clearly demonstrating unenlightened delusions.

You also wrote that you love violence, and attempted to justify it simply by referring to the majority of people.

You also ask a lot of seemingly rhetorical questions and then give answers as if it they were true, when in reality your answers are made up of some momentary opinions and conjecture, it seems childish. An example is what you wrote about the mourning of a soldier.

You provide a lot of insights which clearly demonstrate your awareness, and it is no doubt greater than the average person's, but that does not mean you are wise or enlightened. What you have is called "beginners mind". Accept it. You often seem to be coming from a position of malice, dissapointment, loneliness and frustration regarding the world, again demonstrating your delusion and "beginners mind". The fact that you're confused about the nature of death, life, rebirth, and other notions is a confession of your ignorance, which is the opposite of enlightenment.

If you really want to be worried and concerned about something, be worried and concerned about this: you are dishonest with yourself. Forget about the flaws of others, learn from your own flaws and worry about your own suffering and confusion first.

As for the rest of what you said, I'll wait for your reply to my 'critique'.
throughthemud
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

I'm not dishonest with myself. I've opened myself (and what you perceive to be flaws) for criticism. I am well aware of my negative feelings. Did I not speak I have spontaneous bursts of rage? You speak of these things because I have brought them to you.
You wrote:
"My memory processing centers have updated their neurons."
Clearly demonstrating unenlightened delusions.
I don't think you and I are on the same page. Every 20 or 30 years, memory processing centers update their neurons. Therefore, what I am saying is that my memory of certain events have lost their impact and clarity. This is the truth. To deny this, is to deny the facts, to deny that neurons update themselves and old memories.

I don't see negativity as an issue that needs to be fixed. If a man is in the desert seeing a mirage, and he knows the mirage isn't real, what is there to be fixed? It's a bit like a man in the desert hallucinating. If he knows he is in delusion, then he is not really in true delusion because he knows that what he is feeling is illusory. Negative feelings are a result of being a biological organism. What is to be done? Should I restructure my nuerons to become more machine like? Should I feminize myself, cut off my balls for Jesus in order to escape the feelings of lust? What really needs to be done? I am not sure if my negativity is my problem, or yours. You may be just sensitive about how dark I am. You might very well be the sensitive one of this equation. We all have our centers. If my center is naturally dark orientated, what is to be fixed? Does one shave a lion's mane? You centre is possibly more neutral, or even positive, where as I am comfortable in my own darkness, or at least able of riding the waves of the drifts. You are not comfortable with me being comfortable in darkness. And perhaps, I'm not painting the whole picture. Perhaps I am truly not comfortable, but as uncomfortable with it as you are. But perhaps, in this worldspace, the
solution is not a better alternative, just replacing one inquity with another.
And by darkness, I do not refer to ignorance, but the negativity you bring to light. It was already in the light, though.

And so what if I love violence? What is wrong about that? When I brought up the majority, I did not intend to use it as a fallacy ad popularum, I was intending to use it to show social hypocrasy. People who say they want peace, yet their core loves violence. How can they say they want peace when they don't even know themselves or own mental mechanisms? I would still like violence even in a stuffy sterile castrated cubicle "utopia" with no violence at all, I don't need to justify my like of something by how many others share my interest of it.

Enlightened people don't hide from their own ignorance. Of course I am confused about the nature of death and rebirth, as I have never died (or at least, don't have transferrable memory between bodies between the event.) How can someone not be ignorant of such things? Honestly, if you know what happens after death, please share with me this wisdom, I would be actually quite grateful. I am a curious creature, at heart.
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Diebert van Rhijn
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by Diebert van Rhijn »

throughthemud wrote:I read recently one of your posts saying "Love is violence." But I also read that this is the place to have your thoughts bloodied and dangerous. It's a feminine tendency to walk a living lie, do something but say you are not that thing which you do. So I will be brutally honest - I love violence. And we all love violence. Even supposed pacifists like violence. Society might shame and guilt me for saying it, but isn't that a testament to it's hypocrisy, as society by and large makes more profits than I do, from violence. Violence is a beautiful thing. It's splendor elevates the spirits to higher depths. i suspect that you too, Diebert, like violence. So your statement "Love is violence", can't be viewed as derogatory, but promotion of love.
You also seem to love writing! As a response I'll pick out one passage but not only because it mentioned my name. You seem to be circling around a couple of major themes and assuming many angles and perspectives at the same time. Which is great!

About the quoted passage, do you love the violence or the elevation, that heightened, Dionysian spirit around at least certain types? War for example belongs to the order of ritual and violence is highly organized as part of it. The reason I was talking about the violence of love was, apart from the various related acts called love, also about a similar rapture and heightened state it can invoke. Love for another or a cause can be stronger than any major drug. It can for example easily overpower the mind and make you sacrifice your own life or future for it, or someone else’s for that matter. In the blink of an eye, without hesitation. The world be damned but with a painful clarity of mind, knowingly as in that instance it's worth it; all balance is upset.

What is violence exactly? Isn't it a violation of something in the essence? A rupture, a break of symmetry, of balance? One theme I've been dancing around for a while is the idea of symbolic violence as the main type with physical violence as subtype. The interesting consequence of that idea is that also symbolic acts or signs could violate deeper and become way more damaging than just causing pain or discomfort and will have more consequences even after death as the symbol does not stop with a human life. This type of violence one can study in news media, entertainment or even family life, in some muted form, without much, if any, physical touch involved. What often looks so terrible about external, objective violence would be that it violates our sense of fairness, justice and order. Like a random attack on a child by a molester. But nature has no moral order and little symbol. For that reason nature knows little to no actual violence, just imagery of it since no order is being violated. Perhaps indeed only humans violate as symbolic crime against order? And indeed also love breaks through, perhaps with sweetness, like drugging a victim but its consequences are always upsetting. Not to be confused with "loveliness" which is at most a symbol of the symbol, exchanged on the market place of emotion.
throughthemud
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

Dunno. I suppose some forms of violence bothers me, like when your net craps out and you forgot what your post was and it gets deleted. I suppose that is probably why violence bothers some people, they dont like things being deleted of existence.

As far as the cut off my balls for Jesus thing, thinking back on it maybe it wasn't a crazy idea. I mean, I can't tell whether I like the way I feel in the morning. I sleep on the floor, so I can't make heads nor tails of it. Do I like the hardness of softness of woman? Sometimes it feels like I am inside a soup, unsure of things. Can't tell whether I like or hate sexual samsara in the mornings. What I do know, is after my bod leaves the hard floor the mental circus and carnival leaves and I am mentally clear again. This is different from the clarity of "love and peace", which is night vision. What puzzles me, is the hardness of the floor gets my gears goin', I think I am attracted to women, yet women are praised for their softness. Whirlwinds of soup.

So, if this post is crappier than the original, it is because my net crapped out and the original never saw the light of day. Probably forgot some things and concepts that were in the original, probably added more too. At what point do we say "this post has value because it says things we already know?" Or the opposite, "this post already says things I know, what value does it have"? Bottomline is, is it an enjoyable read, does it reveal anything new or help us and what are it's reprocutions 500 years in the future?

Far as love and peace goes, at night I'll make myself feminine. I get hypersensitive to stimuli and things. love and peace thoughts circulate within my spirit. Now some folks will say this is the end destination, they want to cling to feminine love and peace forever. But is the eternal bath of love and peace really the end goal? I mean, don't we need some violence to make things interesting? People won't admit it these days when interviewed on TV, they say they want peace and love, yet won't admit they crave violent games and violent movies, they are ashamed of that part of themselves. And then there are those who geniunely don't like violence at all, and then you wonder exactly how they can function as human beings, you wonder if theres a correlation between airheadedness and lack of violent interests, as much as there is correlation between airheadness and bruteism.

People often correlate violence with bruteism but the violence I admire cannot be simplified as such a thing. Diebert, you asked what about it exactly, well I cannot say what about it exactly, I can't narrow to one thing, it is the coherent symphony of it all that gets me going. You see, violence pleases both Dionysus and Apollos. There are so many elements to it, you got the romantic feminine love element, and the brute strength element, then you got the beautiful dance of energies, violence as an inherent artform in of itself. Anime capitalizes on this, with the beauty of the sword fights, the magnificence of the mechs, the powerful light of the apex of man's genius, the order morphing into orderly chaos. Explosions are orderly chaos, each explosion is different but follows the same basic properties. It is like a life of its own for a moment or two. Men marching in beautiful costumes, the surge of energy exploding at the charge, height of the spirit and splendor. Two men, duking it out over ideals, almost like a romantic play, perhaps even a subconscious romance. Violence pleases Appollos because of all the strategy and techniques, many logical debates, arguments and discussions evolve around violence and strategies. One may wonder if someone cannot appreciate such a thing, maybe they are better suited to a life of interior decorating.

Tigers are beautiful, but it has an ugly side too. People can argue violence is good but at the same time, losers of the game don't get to play anymore. If a game cannot be played then it doesn't exist therefore can't be good. There are no revives for the fallen no second coming no party favors after the deal. Perhaps that explains why people are disgusted by it. It also has sexual undertones, blowing up a house is a bit like robbing someone of consent. If their house could be rebuilt, if they could be respawned, we might think of it like a play of sexuality, or even a comedy, and not view it is a tragic drama and give it somber tone that it has. My hypothesis of why americans are disgusted by sex more than violence is because sex is a subtle form of violence, but a weaker distilled form of violence. This distilled diluted aspect of sex bothers americans because the violence is not hardcore enough for them it is too subtle. Thats my hypothesis though. Far as violence goes, as a world I think we should keep it but remove the death aspect and make it a bit more orderly.
Pam Seeback
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by Pam Seeback »

thoughtthemud: Tigers are beautiful, but it has an ugly side too.
Does a tiger think its beautiful or ugly? No. You are confusing your conceptualizing self that ponders about the reality of tiger with the actual reality of tiger. Only tiger is the reality of tiger. Just as you (and only you) are the reality of you.
throughthemud
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by throughthemud »

movingalways wrote:
thoughtthemud: Tigers are beautiful, but it has an ugly side too.
Does a tiger think its beautiful or ugly? No. You are confusing your conceptualizing self that ponders about the reality of tiger with the actual reality of tiger. Only tiger is the reality of tiger. Just as you (and only you) are the reality of you.
According to deductive reasoning, Tigers probably think other tigers are beautiful.

But my statement implied that tigers are beautiful to humans, my words were for humans not tigers. There are some people out there who might not agree. For example, if I write a poem describing the beauty of a rainbow, there might be an au' contrarian who says rainbows are only beautiful to me, because I am not yet empirically conscious of other's realities thus cannot verify for certain if rainbows are beautiful for everyone. The real question is what is beautiful and what is ugly? Hard to define exactly, DNA is kind of a sprout which manifests certain similarities, which can manifest certain aesthetics giving certain feelings. Beauty is a certain kind of feeling associated with certain kind of aesthetics.
Beingof1
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Re: My questions and concerns, and my views

Post by Beingof1 »

throughthemud:

I appreciate your questions and insight. You appear to me as one who is devoted to the pursuit of that one truth "that makes one free."

I honor your life
Consciousness is singular. So if eternity is hogging the conscious experience, how can other consciousnesses be actually occurring? It's food for thought.
It is only being hogged by the brain and central nervous system for short durations.
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