Facade,
People can only behave rationally in accordance with some subjective standard.
Yes, I agree. Our subjective values guide behaviour to some extent.
Fact is, we've all got limbic systems with genetically-programmed sensitivities, as well as cerebral cortices which play the role of satisfying our limbic desires (that is why there is more output to the cortex from the limbic system than input, and why our feelings control our behavior). Seems like not only are our animal needs pretty important, but they're actually in control of our minds. And it is well documented by the sciences that when our innate needs are neglected, certain consequences follow, such as poorer health, lowered self-confidence and happiness, and a higher disposition toward mental illness.
The hardware is there, and I don’t believe we can deny certain aspects of our biology. I believe for example that most humans should have opposite sex companions that complement their own personalities. I think a solitary life for most results in pathology. However, we do not have to fall victim of the causal consequences of playing the emotional games necessary to satisfy our biology. We can satisfy certain aspects of our biology without actually going through rituals, and preprogrammed emotional behaviours. For instance: Romanticism (based on the animal drive) tends to delude each participant, they fail to analyze the other’s imperfections, they have overly exaggerated and inflated views of the other. They are trying to see the other person through the mental filter of a cognitive drug addict.
I think it would actually be more honest and sane to fake the entire romantic process if you really wanted a woman, then you would avoid the causal emotional consequences, but still attain the goal of biological companion. And then you could still treat her with respect, care and compassion, but divert the extreme effects of the initial romantic response/attachment.
Moreover, the real danger I see with using the old pre-programmed emotional behaviors is we often develop cognitive strategies to satisfy their biology, and those systems of thought become conditioned, and neurotically wired over time, and become part of our personality, which I think is a loss of authenticity. Then the thinker responds automatically to stimulus without any thought at all, it becomes a pre-programmed response. That is why one should have a healthy discontent with our biological conditioning, it is sobering. It keeps the individual on his toes.
charm is an effective means to fulfill instinctual needs and I cannot see how it can be considered a bad thing.
The real danger of charm is that one’s cognition can become a slave to charm, a slave to a type of behaviour that causes a pleasurable response. Some people are all charm, but when you ask them a deep question, there is nobody home, you follow? Their personality is like a shallow survival adaptation, a learned response over decades. However, I would argue that they lack any real authenticity, and any real relationship to reality. Charm is dangerous to the extent that any pleasurable activity is dangerous, it has the ability to takes up a vast amount neurological space in the mind, and if one isn't logical, then all ones charm will be used to manipulate, and control the environment in order to satisfy biology.
However, I'm not advocating totally abandoning charm, or attempting to deny our biology. I'm suggesting one needs to have an awareness of how much cognitive control these behaviors have over your mind. And to what end is charm being put to use. Moreover, I think one can accept ones own biological limitations, but still express criticism and discontent over certain aspects of the ones conditioning. I suppose I have this ideal of absolute freedom/clarity, where my motives are always transparent, and my language is always clear. And my charm never controls people to the extent that they are not aware of the effects. I suppose I idealize a reality where we are all conscious and aware of everything we think. However, to live in the world, one is going to have to compromise for ones own sanity. And so, charm is necessary to that degree. Each individual will need to decide to what end they will deploy charm, and if charm is excessive, immoral and so on. However, we should never lose touch with that part of the mind that yearns for the higher, yearns for something other than biological satisfaction. And that doesn't mean that one can't experience a certain degree of happiness through biological satisfaction, but one shouldn't lose touch with the deeper impulse. The one that keeps you curious, skeptical, hungry for wisdom and all the rest of it...