Constant mystery of life

[glitch]

I wonder if any of you share my sentiments, i cannot stop thinking, my mind is permanantly plagued with comprehending and understaning life and searching for objective truth, i find myself unable to live practically, i fear i will never be married since it would not suite my habbits. I sometimes wonder is this is my purpose...to be a spectator in the world of the living..to peek into the machinery of life.....well its either that or that i am derranged and unfit human being

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Weigh your objectives and determine first what you really want out of life. It is possible to search for truth and live a life worth living, but proper allocation of time, effort, and resources can only be determined by ascertaining your goals and determining how much of which goals you really want.

Getting married is far less important than only getting married to the right person. If you marry someone who also has a passion for searching out truth, then the two of you will feed off of each other intellectually and both of you will grow better than you could alone. A healthy marriage is like a good hybrid tree - it bears better fruit, is stronger, and resists disease better than the plants brought together to make they hybrid. An unhealthy marriage is like living with a parasite. The stronger one sickens and becomes weakly as the parasite becomes stronger yet produces little or nothing.

Just thinking would make you the parasite, but thinking and applying what you think about to a worthwhile life will help you bear fruit, and be a good candidate for further increasing your lot in life by working synergistically with others.

[Nick]

I wonder if any of you share my sentiments, i cannot stop thinking, my mind is permanantly plagued with comprehending and understaning life and searching for objective truth, i find myself unable to live practically, i fear i will never be married since it would not suite my habbits. I sometimes wonder is this is my purpose...to be a spectator in the world of the living..to peek into the machinery of life.....well its either that or that i am derranged and unfit human being

I notice you used the word I quite a bit. You need to realize there is no I, it is only a delusion.

In reference to a healthy marriage:

then the two of you will feed off of each other

Then you wrote

An unhealthy marriage is like living with a parasite.

Essentially both "healthy" and "unhealthy" marriages are parasitic by nature. One can't realistically expect to achieve anything in the infinite and you have someone feeding off of you.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Nick wrote:

One can't realistically expect to achieve anything in the infinite and you have someone feeding off of you.

Unless they feed you in return, and the mutual feeding results in greater gains for both.

I wrote:

A healthy marriage is like a good hybrid tree - it bears better fruit, is stronger, and resists disease better than the plants brought together to make they hybrid.

I must admit that there is a dearth of appropriate choices of partners for those who think deeply.

[Nick]

Unless they feed you in return, and the mutual feeding results in greater gains for both.

Any person in a relationship is ultimately in it to feed themselves, not their partner. The dynamics of a "loving" relationship are based solely in selfishness, making it impossible to truly care for (or feed) your partner. All they are doing is sucking eachother dry. Only through a relationship with God can one truly become selfless.

[LooF]

you only feel that because you need something to have a meaning, and you cannot find anything else at the moment.

so find something you want to do and it will be good

[Nick]

you only feel that because you need something to have a meaning, and you cannot find anything else at the moment.

My relationship with God has more meaning than anything else in this world could even come remotely close to. I've simply exposed "marriage" for the childish and selfish act it truly is.

so find something you want to do and it will be good

I have, but the true nature of "things" will always be there for me to understand and expose. And trust me, the true nature of things will not always "be good".

[unwise]

Glitch,

You sound like a romantic teenager sitting in the corner of the library with a scowl on his face. In his hands is his favorite book, 'Why the World Hates Me.'

You will do well here, but do not try so much to be a star like this right off the bat. Almost everyone here is just like you. You will only be average with your deep, isolated discontent and brilliant mind that the lowly world cannot begin to understand.....

But consider this: Every older person I meet who is without a partner is a little batty. The female nature without male balance is dingy, and the male without the female influence is often an odd loner-miser-hermit. You are only attracted to the loner-miser-hermit role because you see yourself taking up that mantle and already singing its praises.

In every relationship in life, you will learn. There is MUCH to learn about YOURSELF through raising children, for example. There is MUCH to learn from cooperating and communicating with a member of the opposite sex, or even someone who is unlike you -- or even someone with different values. Clashing into different value systems and perspectives will only make you deeper, wiser, more tolerant, more understanding and more subtle. You become 'well-rounded.'

I have gained something with each relationship I have had. Double that for all sexual relationships.

This view is not tolerated by the monks on this site, but it is true. Don't set out to be a dingbat hermit; set out to be a wise king who knows something about everything and everyone.

[Ryan Rudolph]

Unwise wrote:

But consider this: Every older person I meet who is without a partner is a little batty. The female nature without male balance is dingy, and the male without the female influence is often an odd loner-miser-hermit. You are only attracted to the loner-miser-hermit role because you see yourself taking up that mantle and already singing its praises.

I would think the goal is to have a balanced masculine-feminine psyche instead of being psychologically dependent on a female to complete your other half which is impossible anyway.

Unwise wrote:

In every relationship in life, you will learn. There is MUCH to learn about YOURSELF through raising children, for example. There is MUCH to learn from cooperating and communicating with a member of the opposite sex, or even someone who is unlike you -- or even someone with different values. Clashing into different value systems and perspectives will only make you deeper, wiser, more tolerant, more understanding and more subtle. You become 'well-rounded.'

You can learn from each relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should live with an irrational person for everyday of your life. The spiritual man values peace of mind more than the comfort of spending time with weak people. Weak people drain your energy because you need to constantly listen to their unconscious babble. There is nothing to learn from an irrational person besides the irrefutable fact that they are unconscious and almost impossible to sustain any sort of long-term relationship with.

Many potential thinkers have been ruined by living with an irrational person simply because they were afraid to live in solitude. The dependency and attachment destroys them because they must constantly adapt who they are to other people's fragile egos and then they end up becoming a fragile ego themselves.

Unwise wrote:

Double that for all sexual relationships.

What I have learnt from sexual relationships is that they are not worth the trouble. A little pleasure for a lot of pain; that is how that dynamic works. The woman becomes attached to you after the act and then they become jealous, possessive and all the rest of it. Sex should be performed with extreme caution.

Unwise: what makes you such a phony philosopher is that fact that you’re values reflect many of your psychological weaknesses. You haven’t pushed your understanding into the very void of reality. You haven’t tasted death for weeks and weeks on end because if you did, you wouldn’t have such shallow cowardly values.

If you actually touched true emptiness then most irrational people would be a waste of your time in large doses.

A ‘dingbat hermit’ as you say values this lifestyle because this way of life showers the receiver of truth with long durations of peace of mind. Moreover by keeping your mind constantly occupied with other people's shallow beliefs, trivial opinions, compulsions, and fears leads you nowhere besides into the bar to clear your mind with a drink of hard liquor on the rocks.

One vice begets another, That is how that dynamic works.

Most 'happily' married men also spend the entire weekend intoxicated to the point where they barely know they exist....

I wonder why large numbers of men are attracted to this artificial state? what is causing them to do this?

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Ryan wrote:

You haven’t tasted death for weeks and weeks on end; if you did, you wouldn’t have such shallow values.

Have you? How? I know there are many ways, but I wondered about your personal experience(s).

[Ryan Rudolph]

Elizabeth wrote:

Have you? How? I know there are many ways, but I wondered about your personal experience(s).

Knowing Death can only come about through a constant awareness of every movement of thought that desires sensuality from the present moment. There are logical observations that recognize ‘what is’ and then they are base desires that are rooted in the old part of the brain.

The old part of the brain is the little beast; it is the fiend that craves what can never satisfy him or her. The spiritual person must starve the beastly fiend. If you dedicate your life to the sensual starvation of the psyche then you may stumble across this rare and alien otherworldly presence that has never been born and has never died. You will find death and in that discovery a different type of consciousness is born; an authentic consciousness.

Note: the beastly fiend is heavily conditioned in some entities worse than others.

This is why I believe there can be degrees of ‘sageness’ depending on what degree of the physiological/psychological weasel remains.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Knowing Death can only come about through a constant awareness of every movement of thought that desires sensuality from the present moment.

I disagree, particularly with the term “only” as applied here. One can know death by:

recognizing that we are all but animated corpses,

the effects of losing others to death, especially easily if the losses are many and close,

spending an extensive period of time contemplating, planning, or expecting our own death,

living for an extended period under the continual threat of imminent death,

and many other ways. I would go on, but I have some other things I must do this evening.

[Sapius]

I wonder if any of you share my sentiments, i cannot stop thinking, my mind is permanantly plagued with comprehending and understaning life and searching for objective truth, i find myself unable to live practically, i fear i will never be married since it would not suite my habbits. I sometimes wonder is this is my purpose...to be a spectator in the world of the living..to peek into the machinery of life.....well its either that or that i am derranged and unfit human being

In my opinion, a deep thinker is the one who is very much disturbed with what he finds illogical or unreasonable, and starts questioning it. This creates a very individualistic state of being, so I can understand your conclusion that “i fear i will never be married since it would not suite my habits”. On the other hand, it does not take much thinking to understand how very individual each and everyone is, so a continued partnership necessarily means some compromising from either party.

Now the question is, are YOU ready to compromise? And can you accept someone else compromising for YOUR sake?