Making peace with femininity

Discussion of the nature of Ultimate Reality and the path to Enlightenment.
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Kelly Jones
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Kelly Jones »

I'm up late tonight because my tomboy/lesbian neighbour had her tv on late, which is sited right at a wall-length crack in the thin brick walls. Talk about masculine women being logical, eh?
Dave Toast wrote:There's nothing stopping female programmers being highly logical in applying themselves to the nature of their job but doing so in no way implies that they will apply that logic to any other area of their life.
You have to remember the context. Laird was talking about programmers who were able to hide their sex. So we were clearly talking about self-employed or unemployed programmers who operate under their own supervision. That is the style of programming that I was thinking of - geeks who take their interests in programming to unusual lengths. Although again, one has to admit that most geeks retain compartmentalised thinking. Yet, there is probably a stronger compulsion to do so consciously rather than out of unconscious socialisation.
You chose a bad example in the first place as there is a particularly high incidence of females in programming, compared to the incidence in many other fields requiring a level of logical rigour.
So, if we take the type of programmer defined above, do you see at least equal numbers of females and males ?

My experience of programming is small. However, in learning Linux and spending a lot of time on various Linux fora, the usernames are rarely female or feminine. Nothing like "HeavenlyFlower", for instance.
But in the end, just like the male scientist who uses logic all day long and yet only applies systematic thinking to life in general on a whimsical basis, so too female programmers can work with high levels of logical abstraction and yet never apply that systematic thinking systematically.
Very true. But the more logical the thinking, the less compartmentalised.
This brings me back to a point I made a while back: What people are caused to go through plays a larger part in their development than what they are caused to be capable of. Sure women in general are genetically disadvantaged in many aspects of the attributes required for high achievement but these genetic disadvantages don't render women completely incapable of high achievement as they are very much surmountable with the appropriate causal influences in life.
Of course. A rock is genetically disadvantaged in the same way, and with the appropriate causal influences will become capable of high achievement. This isn't saying much, unless you're saying women are genetically disadvantaged for high achievement, compared to men. And, since we are talking about consciously removing compartments to logical thought, then where are the examples that the ease with which women bow unconsciously to socialisation pressures is 'very much surmountable with the appropriate causal influences in life' ? High achievement isn't a group thing, especially in this case, and also especially in this case I'd argue that the more support there is for high achievement, the lower it is.
As to whether they'll come across those appropriate causal influences is the larger part of it though, being as females are generally subject to an entirely different socialization process to males, a process less likely to predispose females to develop those high achievement attributes.
See my "female programmers hit-prevention collective" argument. In other words, if there was even one single example, then she would have taken steps to change the socialisation process for future females. But either there was none, or the future females were genetically so unlike their helpers as to resist all their programming attempts.

I definitely think the C19th female emancipationists had some worthy and noble ideals. But they were incredibly misguided as to its implementation, which leads me to think they actually didn't realise what emancipation meant. So perhaps we might say that if those females had have been a tad more logical, then future generations of women would be much, much more than they. Who knows? I tend to think it'll take many many years of female children not being brought up as women to develop the loner instinct.

Like you know, I don't think it's worth trying to get women to think logically - generally speaking. The odd one, who clearly shows a love of thought, and the loner instinct, is already along the path to being manly, so that's justified.

The problem really is, most of these rare tomboys are just that - they escaped a lot of the feminisation that most females go through, but remain young irresponsible boys. They are probably the typical butch lesbian, who still likes to wear a bit of lipgloss and perhaps a metallic streak of eyeliner.

My hypothesis is that all young girls like dolls and frilly things, and most girls are encouraged in most of their girlish fantasies by their fathers, who represent worldly success and reliable information. These girls' mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, girlfriends and extended family friends are also burning the girls' heads with heating irons, so to speak. So most girls actually enter into these fantasies, and remain there throughout life. A small percentage of girls are discouraged, and either accept that their fantasies are like abstract tools to be used and abandoned by a neutral self, and so become more masculine and solitary-minded, and also probably take on masculine fantasies.
Look no further than the likes of Ellen Macarthur for a female more driven, disciplined and more capable of single-pointed concentration than most males on the face of the planet.
Thanks for the link. Three interesting points: she picked up her skills early in life because her aunt owned a boat; she has a "schizotypoid personality disorder" - at least, if she weren't a high achiever, that much would be admitted - so she's probably been brought up as a loner; and her team is made of two males.
History is repleat with examples of women of integrity and constancy, if only because they stand out from the crowd so.
These are virtues often applied to religious fanatics. I think you'll find most of the 'high achieving' women of history are such.

Samuel Butler has a great satire on the economics of religion in Erewhon. He describes their two currencies - a normal commercial one, and another used by females in Musical Banks. Everyone in Erewhon believes the Musical Banks is the greater, better currency, but no one trades in it. If you offer Musical Bank coins as your tithe to a clergy-man (who is called a cashier), he will become greatly offended. As indeed it is on Earth. Females tend to regard this schism as the fault of the males, citing the males' cunning and hubris on learning how to manage stable human institutions.
And they're certainly not disadvantaged in any way whatsoever when it comes to being callous, crass and uncaring with regard to getting what they want.
I think there's a great difference between will and emotional compulsion. What you're talking about would appear to be the latter.
Of course, such women will go on to high achievement
I don't think they could, if they lack will. Emotionalism drives a person all over the place, and makes one incapable of sustaining an initial direction.
and yet most will likely never apply those aquired attributes to the big questions, just like most men of high achievement won't.
I think they are less likely than men to, in any level of achievement, because of that emotionalism. The same drives religious fanaticism. Religiousness is the same as the feminine desire for social order, which probably comes about from bonding with the women-pack and all its insecurities.
But if they manage to defy the minefield of female socialization and avail themselves of such attributes, they are just as capable (if not more so due to the greater degree of their struggle to get there) of addressing those big questions and following through on their conclusions.
The greater struggle requires more time, and more effort, so less capability. Also, early delusions are rooted more deeply, which takes even more time and effort. So the rare female you mention is not as capable of addressing big questions and following through, as the average male.

I'm not trying to discourage females, but we must be honest. That is far more positive than hiding the real situation.
In short, females are just as capable as males of developing many if not all aspects of the much vaunted masculine mindset required for wisdom.
"Just as capable" is meaningless - rocks are 'just as capable'.
It's just that they're far less likely to go through the appropriate causal processes to produce it and then the appropriate causal processes to apply it to spiritual understanding. The point being that it's not a question of their being completely incapable. But I guess you already know this better than most.
I've never said females are completely incapable of logical thinking. I just think it happens very rarely.


Kelly

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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Kelly Jones »

Dan, you said as much on the Genius-List in 2002, in the context of ?Daria, the Christian. It's a matter of efficiency.

I don't think one should give up on the (odd) female, who clearly shows a love of thought, and the loner instinct. Being already along the path to being manly, assisting her is justified. But she's not going to be the best soil. Living as a female, presented with all the temptations of succumbing to the smiles of people, who yearn to experience WOMAN through her, it's all too easy for her to continue within society. She really needs to whole-heartedly will to reject all that, and to bear up under the suffering of being a total loner without wallowing in self-pity and bitterness. Until then she'll still have that demoralising tendency to need directions and support. So what she passes on will not be pure.

Learning to suffer spiritually, meaning, to bite off emotional suffering at the outset, is not easy for women, because they seem to have the pathways all set-up for those emotions. It takes a good mind to snap out of that, and then endure the patient, ongoing daily slog, of weaning themselves back to where they left off.


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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Are you quoting Dan? If so, where does the quote start and where does it end?
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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I find this whole discussion on computer programming extremely ironic. For one thing, my youngest daughter, who is in her last year of high school and thinking about what she will study in college, has stated that she does not want to study to be a computer programmer due to the excess of programmers there already are. She sees computers as what the dumb masses do, even if they don't have a college degree. That view contrasted to Kelly's view that computer programming is so difficult that she can't imagine many women being able to do it. I'm not sure which of those two views is more laughable, frankly.

One thing I'm sure of is that mainframe programming is a lot harder than pc programming. At the places where I worked, the mainframe programmers could learn to do pc programming without much coaching, but the converse was never true. When there was a lack of mainframe programmers (actually, there always was) and pc programmers were placed at computer programming jobs, it would take them about six months to get the hang of what mainframe systems were about, and another six months just to be able to write the most elementary programs. Probably another year for them to be truly useful. Eventually the bosses decided that the money spent to train these people was not worth it.

I was always a mainframe programmer, if anyone is wondering.

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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Sher,

Dan deleted his post.

I should have defined what I meant by computer programmer in the discussion with Laird, but I knew he'd understand I meant an independent programmer - the type that isn't workplace trained. There really is a difference between workplace thinking and truly independent thinking. The former is textbook tedium, fits into the status quo, produces heaps but lacks real quality or original thought. The latter has an overall big-picture efficiency, leaps into risky areas, and so is willing to scrap everything and start again.

My apology for the misunderstanding that has ensued. Try to read 'computer programmer' in these discussions using the latter definition.

I don't know but that your daughter thinks it's stupid to write either a tedious textbook join-the-dots program, or an efficient original one, because as a woman with the world at her feet, she should do something glorious like being the leading star of the entire intergalactic space travel program...


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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Kelly Jones »

[Metapost]
I know it won't work this way. But patience is only gained in patience, and for those who have little, even what they have is soon taken away.

It is hard to be patient, and hard to be silent. To be the suffering servant does not come easily.

How many times does an orphaned baby try to eat shit before he learns it does not taste good? How much easier if there was the Mother present to knock it from his hand. He might die before he learns.

Ask Nature for the courage to avoid all these ill-effects. Demand the Mother stop playing tricks!
[/Metapost]

Back to the remedy, kiddo.


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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

Kelly,
I should have defined what I meant by computer programmer in the discussion with Laird, but I knew he'd understand I meant an independent programmer - the type that isn't workplace trained. There really is a difference between workplace thinking and truly independent thinking. The former is textbook tedium, fits into the status quo, produces heaps but lacks real quality or original thought. The latter has an overall big-picture efficiency, leaps into risky areas, and so is willing to scrap everything and start again.
There is enough overlap between the kind of people that work at workplaces and those that work independent, to render such a distinction invalid. There are people from the former group who are truly independent thinkers, and from the latter group who are mediocre at best.

I myself was a workplace programmer, and I was as independent as the come. I would refuse to work for a boss who would give opinions /orders about how I should do my work. As far as I was concerned, what I did was his/her business, but how I did it was off-limits to him/her. I was not a trainee, and would not be treated as one.

I don't know you well, but it seems to me that maybe you suffer from a "syndrome" of wanting to classify people into two neat little value categories (good versus bad), based on arbitrary criteria (male / female, where they work, etc.). I appreciate your attempt, but the world is just not that simple. This syndrome may be at the root of a lot of your disordered thinking. Just an observation.

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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Sher,

'Independent' in the context I was talking of, means making one's own choices about goals and methods. I indicated above that the self-employed or unemployed programmer would operate totally under their own supervision. Recall this?


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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Sher,

Regarding the metatags, see it as a clue for the intelligent reader, so he can see the real context of the discussion. That the vultures come swooping in can be nuisance, but is probably also illustrative.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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'Independent' in the context I was talking of, means making one's own choices about goals and methods. I indicated above that the self-employed or unemployed programmer would operate totally under their own supervision. Recall this?
So? In my current profession there are many people who operate under their own supervision, and the outcome of their work isn't worth shit. Being an "unemployed programmer" does not mean you're a good one.

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Re: Making peace with femininity

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To be precise, if a self-directed programmer needs guidance to actually be a programmer, then they're not self-directed. It'd be natural for those who are used to having a workaday schedule to find the endless freedom of self-employment overwhelming. But those who are independent prefer to set their own goals and methods, including their day-to-day goals and methods. It's a matter of will vs emotional compusion.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Laird: Some people speculate that there are more women participating than we realise, it's just that to avoid being hit on they don't reveal their gender.

Kelly: The hits are obviously online, aren't they? A logical thinker who is also a computer programmer would create a program to deal with that tedious task.

Jason: How would they go about that? What would the program do exactly?
Sorry, I missed this. There are two ways I can see. The first is simple but not very successful. That's adding "celibate" to a signature in emails and fora posts. It's possible to write a "client-side" program that lists usernames, passwords, signatures, etc. and enters these details automatically into each new forum subscribed to. A bit like a diaphragm contraceptive.

The second is more successful, but more difficult. It's the equivalent of sterilisation plus desexualisation, where one writes programs to help humans see the folly in attachment. Success depends on how wise the programmer is, and how human the computer is. I wrote such a program recently, with medium success. I had to rely on good luck. My basic method was this:

- Upload program ("Poison") to various computers
- Wait for new user input to question "Do you wish to install?"
- Parse results (a set of responses from users, indicating YES / NO, and which components of program would be installed)
- While waiting for user input to indicate program installed: Bug check on "Poison" on main computer
- Bug revealed in program; tried using a remote computer for debugging, which, on failing to assist, helped to fix the bug

It seems to be working, but it's a very basic program with low scope.


;-)
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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The educated female mind is more capable of intuiting what a client needs and providing the software to do it. The characteristically self educated male geek doesnt giva fuck what others think or need, but sees a software problem more abstractly and sets out to solve it- art for art's sake.

The geek has a kind of tunnel vision of the mind, totally ignoring the needs of others while he focuses on the task at hand. That has produced some real works of genius. More often, its the female who sees what the work can do, and understands the needs of others, and how to bring the new tool to the task.

The most successful culture makes the best use of both forms of innovation. Its the diff between chess and bridge; the former is an abstract problem, the character of the opposition is trivial. With the latter, the intuition about what the other players say in response to the cards they hold has to be integrated with the cards in the hand. But in both cases, success comes of doing the right thing at the right time.

The definition of 'femininity' is being changed by women moving into the power structures. the "power structures' are also being changed, shifting from the alpha male model of steep central control to the flatter peer-to-peer system that relies more on consensus, not obedience. Nowadays, as women move into male power structures, they adapt to the culture of power, using the organizations pretty much as a man would. The femonazis are, however, a transitional breed that will be replaced by women more open to input and interested in building consensus, not obedience.

the mysogynists just dont get it. They think the women will build the same kind of tyranny that they themselves hoped to dominate were it not for the rise of women. The femonazis dont get it either; the times have changed. Hillary wont be another Maggie Thatcher in terms of military force. But she will try to do something to reduce the cost of entitlements in order to stabilize the economy. No GOP candidate can do that. It took a Nixon to go to China.

And as women take over business, they will impose peace because warfare does so much damage to the infrastructure investments. They will form common cause with the other transnationals to downsize the military industrial complex in order to leave more money in the hands of consumers. which increases profits. They will replace brute force with psychotropic meds, and use the new lie detection technologies to determine which men pose risks to others.
Goddess made sex for company.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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It's not men's fault for hearing what people say. If they don't hear what isn't said, then it's the problem of the communicator.

I know some men think the woman to die for, is the one who courts them, gets them drunk and soft, and does all the work of the relationship, so that they can just have the sex. I tend to think that if a man doesn't feel comfortable saying something in his right mind, then one shouldn't remove those barriers.

It's dangerous to leave one's communicating up to someone who goes by emotional signals. The likely result is the lowest common denominator - the animal. If someone isn't comfortable of saying clearly what they need, then they are ambivalent and aren't ready.

Body signals are easily misinterpreted or reconstrued as something else. One can't waste precious time on people who play coquette with their minds.

I personally find communicating with females extremely difficult. They frequently 'hear' something that I'm definitely not saying. They make lots of little mmm sounds, indicating that yes, yes, they know exactly what I'm talking about. They have no idea. They just want the easiest solution - what they understand. Sorry, but that's not communication.


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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

Kelly wrote:
I personally find communicating with females extremely difficult. They frequently 'hear' something that I'm definitely not saying. They make lots of little mmm sounds, indicating that yes, yes, they know exactly what I'm talking about. They have no idea. They just want the easiest solution - what they understand. Sorry, but that's not communication.
It makes perfect sense for most people (males and females) to want "the easiest solution - what they understand" if their existing worldview is serving them nicely enough. People are most comfortable when their worldview is mirrored by others. The only time they may become a tiny bit interested in considering different ideas is when theirs aren't living up to their expectations. For many people, when things don’t go the way they want them to is the only time they ever question the usefulness of their worldview – but rarely, if ever, do they question any deeper then that. If new ideas are brought in, they usually don’t stray too far from the old ones – thereby keeping the whole process as painless and as easy as possible.

I’m not sure what sort of things you are trying to "communicate" with people, but from your description of how they are responding to you, they don’t sound at all interested in what you have to say. That can’t be helped, for most people usually aren’t really interested in other people, only putting up with them because they don’t like to be alone. It sounds like the people you are hanging around are willing to put up with you, but just aren’t interested in your worldview – like you aren’t interested in theirs.

Depending on what you think you want from people, you might need to look around for different people, or remain in the mob you have now, and see if you can find some aspect of their lives or conversation that you can connect with. It all comes down to you, really.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

Laird wrote:
Sue: Suppressing emotions only works for a short time – then they rear their ugly head twice as angry, and at a time when you are least expecting them.
I didn't say anything about "suppressing" emotions, I talked about rationalising them. But in any case, what's the alternative? What do you do to eliminate both love and hatred from your life?
It is completely insane to love or hate something when neither you nor it exists inherently. To love or hate a thing, you have to believe it exists separate from you. But all things are really only one thing – which isn’t really a thing at all, for it is all there is - the totality.

Whatever IS at any moment IS the same as you. Cancer, dust, chocolate, you, atomic bombs, kisses and hugs, twinkling stars, blood and guts – no real division whatsoever between them. Therefore, you can't love one and hate another.

So, in answer to your question, if my mind is focused wholly on the truth, I don’t need to “eliminate” love and hate – for they naturally don’t arise, due to having no-thing to support them.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Elizabeth Isabelle »

Sue Hindmarsh wrote:It is completely insane to love or hate something when neither you nor it exists inherently.
Why is it insane for a non-inherent being to have non-inherent love for another non-inherent being?
Sue Hindmarsh wrote:To love or hate a thing, you have to believe it exists separate from you.
What do you think of that thing they call "self-love" ?
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Re: Making peace with femininity

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Sue,
It makes perfect sense for most people (males and females) to want "the easiest solution - what they understand" if their existing worldview is serving them nicely enough.
I think you may have assumed that I was having philosophical discussions with females. The usual example for the mmm-ing female is a customer service officer with a multiple choice array of acceptable answers.

For example, the Red Cross usually mark a person on a disability pension as being an undesireable blood donor. While that might be an 'easy solution', particular given blood contamination is a serious matter, it puts a lot of perfectly good blood off-limits. A little more thought would avoid this.
People are most comfortable when their worldview is mirrored by others. The only time they may become a tiny bit interested in considering different ideas is when theirs aren't living up to their expectations.
I'm guessing that you challenge people's notions, even if they are quite happy with them, to suggest that their thinking on a specific matter is inadequate. I'm talking about interactions that have no obvious philosophical content.
For many people, when things don’t go the way they want them to is the only time they ever question the usefulness of their worldview – but rarely, if ever, do they question any deeper then that. If new ideas are brought in, they usually don’t stray too far from the old ones – thereby keeping the whole process as painless and as easy as possible.
I've found that people are usually interested and pleased to learn new information, so long as they're not nervous. The expression on their faces indicates genuine interest. For instance, in a chat with Watchtower women a week or two ago, who weren't full of mmms and 'yes, I know what you mean's, the notion that galaxies could collide and create a new galaxy, struck them dumb. They started asking questions about this, because it really didn't fit their world-view (God never intervenes unless to keep His purpose on-track.) It started a new line of thought for them on the notion of free will.
I’m not sure what sort of things you are trying to "communicate" with people, but from your description of how they are responding to you, they don’t sound at all interested in what you have to say.
Yes, it's difficult to say anything at all as a customer, except, "Fine thanks, no, yes" so I don't try. Unless I have good reason (see below).
That can’t be helped, for most people usually aren’t really interested in other people, only putting up with them because they don’t like to be alone. It sounds like the people you are hanging around are willing to put up with you, but just aren’t interested in your worldview – like you aren’t interested in theirs.
There's such a thing as correcting unhelpful notions in people one can see do a bit of thinking (and interest).
Depending on what you think you want from people, you might need to look around for different people, or remain in the mob you have now, and see if you can find some aspect of their lives or conversation that you can connect with. It all comes down to you, really.
I don't think I'll be able to avoid female customer service officers who aren't thinking deeply about anything. Do you?

If I bother to do something, then I don't suddenly drop the plan as soon as I come across a person who cannot parse my communication. It is a nuisance, but I have to do my best to help them understand, rather than look for a fantasy realm of customer servers that think deeply about things.



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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

Elizabeth,

You asked:
Why is it insane for a non-inherent being to have non-inherent love for another non-inherent being?
I'll have to get you to describe what you think a "non-inherent being" and "non-inherent love" is?

You also asked:
What do you think of that thing they call "self-love" ?
I'm not sure who the "they" are you are referring to, but I'll take it you mean the herd.

In answer to your question, "self-love" arises out of the fallacy that a self exists inherently.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Carl G »

I wonder how Agape love squares with non-inherency. Can or should anyone practice this, being non-inherent as we are?

In fact, if the argument is that non-inherency precludes all other considerations and trumps all other arguments, why bother pretending we are discussing or doing anything? Of what use is truth, masculinity, and all the rest (other than to come to that one realization)?

Reminds me of high school science class, where the correct answer to just about any question, it seemed, was "osmosis."
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Steven Coyle »

Mitosis.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

Carl,

The concept of agape love also depends on the idea of an inherently existing self - that is, a self who acts selflessly.

-

Understanding our true nature assists us to live life more directly and more fully. Ignorance of our true nature excludes us from those experiences. Obviously, neither wisdom nor ignorance makes everything disappear (though ignorance does a pretty good job at trying to annihilate wisdom).

Truth, masculinity and all other aspects of life do exist as both cause and effect - having causes and consequences that together create the lives we live. And we are also part of those causes and consequences, so it makes sense to try and understand them.

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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Elizabeth Isabelle »

Sue Hindmarsh wrote:all things are really only one thing
Sue Hindmarsh wrote:You also asked:

What do you think of that thing they call "self-love" ?

I'm not sure who the "they" are you are referring to, but I'll take it you mean the herd.
Well, yes, you can refer to yourself as the herd if you want to.

Sue Hindmarsh wrote:It is completely insane to love or hate something when neither you nor it exists inherently.
Sue Hindmarsh wrote:Elizabeth,

You asked:

Why is it insane for a non-inherent being to have non-inherent love for another non-inherent being?



I'll have to get you to describe what you think a "non-inherent being" and "non-inherent love" is?
If the best you can do is to start Clintonating, it is not worth debating the point with you.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by daybrown »

Steven Coyle wrote:Mitosis.
The Goddess was beside Herself when She invented sex.
Goddess made sex for company.
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

Elizabeth,

I asked you:
I'll have to get you to describe what you think a "non-inherent being" and "non-inherent love" is?
As you can see in your original sentence below, the concepts are yours, and therefore you must know what they mean.
Why is it insane for a non-inherent being to have non-inherent love for another non-inherent being?
I cannot reply to your above question until you describe what you're getting at - for as it stands, it's not making any sense.
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