Balance

[David Quinn]

Here is a psychologist's report from the same period: part one, part two, part three, and part four.

And here is a translationof this report.

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[Elizabeth Isabelle]

David,

Have you ever had your IQ tested? I perceive that you are a great deal more intelligent than this psych report indicates. Grades and IQ don't have as much to do with each other as most people believe. Grades are a function of a desire to please others as well as environmental conditions conducive to good grades. Good grades are about spitting back the answers that the teachers want to hear - not about thinking things through or actual learning. You have very little desire to please others, so I'm not surprised that your grades reflected that.

Grades are a good indicator of how well one will do in mainstream society, whereas IQ is more a measure of actual thinking ability - so I would like to know what your IQ is.

[David Quinn]

I can't recall ever doing an IQ test. I don't think my IQ would be too high. It would probably fall within the average to above average range.

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[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Here - this one is fairly accurate for an online one. It gave me a score only 9 points lower than the the official test when I was a kid, which is within an acceptable standard of deviation. If you just want the overall score it's free; it's only the breakdown and saved report that costs a little. I trust you to tell the truth.

You may not think as quickly as I do, but you think thouroughly. Except for processing speed, you're probably as smart as I am. Lack of speed may knock the score down a little, but I doubt it will that much. It will probably put you in the higher end of above average to gifted range.

[David Quinn]

Aaron,

DQ: There's a lot to be said for euthanasia and the enforced killing of old people. My mother's mind is just about gone, her life is all but non-existent, and yet she is still consuming resources and requiring other people to look after her.

AM: How preventable to you think dementia is? Was your mother at all intellectual?

She had a good intellect, although she was far too timid to do anything with it. She was a cynical person, an atheist, didn't believe in superstition. In her later years, she exercised her mind by doing cryptic crosswords each day. I don't know whether you have attempted cryptic crosswords, but they are very tough, but she usually managed to complete the crossword each day. So in that sense at least, she was mentally active.

I'm not sure there is much correlation between the intellect and dementia. Intellectuals can get dementia just as easily as non-intellectuals can. Iris Murdoch is a case in point. It is probably genetic in my mother's case, as her mother also had dementia. So there is a chance that I might get it one day.

What are your thoughts in regards to whether or not the brain has the ability to regenerate, and be renewed?

That's a question for scientists. As far as I'm aware, the brain's neurons cannot be replaced once they die, so the functioning areas of the brain gradually shrink over time. On the other hand, because we have so many spare neurons that we don't normally use, there is scope for replenishment to take place in the form of etching new pathways, or re-etching old ones, in previously unused parts of the brain.

Is the brain like a system of muscles, in the sense where, if you don't use the whole of your brain on a regular basis, but instead just indulge in a narrow part, then the brain deteriorates?

I think so. The neural pathways in the brain can be compared to walking tracks in a forest. Well-used tracks stay open, wide and clear, while little-used tracks gradually fade away.

Do you think 'lop-sidedness' is a good word to describe people in general?

Definitely. Too much emotion and irrationality on the one hand, too little wisdom and truthfulness on the other. Humans are like raging wildebeests running around blindly in a herd.

DQ: Perhaps a system in which people who reach 60 or 70 have to show that they are enlightened and wise, or else be put to death, should be put in place. It would diminish the drag on the world's resources

AM: Here it sounds like you are saying: "unbalanced people are throwing my world out of balance. By killing them off, we can tip the scale to a more ideal balance".

No, I'm simply arguing for a more efficient use of our resources.

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[David Quinn]

Elizabeth,

Here - this one is fairly accurate for an online one. It gave me a score only 9 points lower than the the official test when I was a kid, which is within an acceptable standard of deviation. If you just want the overall score it's free; it's only the breakdown and saved report that costs a little. I trust you to tell the truth.

According to this test, my general IQ score is: 137

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[Elizabeth Isabelle]

That's the exact middle of the gifted range, and only 9 points less than what I got on that test (which again, is within an acceptable standard of deviation). I figured you were as smart as I am - and that proves it.

[Jamesh]

I got 123, which is in the same range as other tests I've done.
I'd say it is fairly accurate. I feel a bit dopey today as well.

I have had a few higher scores, up to 135, on tests where time is not so limited and that have a spatial intelligence component. I think 117 might be my lowest ever test score on an IQ test (done many years ago).

[Katy]

Of the pathological scales, 3 of the 12 scales were extremely elevated, suggestive of serious psychopathology. These scales were the 'Schizophrenia', 'Psychological Inadequacy' and 'Boredom and Withdrawal' scales. Essentially, this means that he feels that life is pointless and meaningless. He reported a number of unusual experiences and a belief that life is unsympathetic.

I am curious as to why they had extremely elevated schizophrenia scale as I know you have said that is not something you suffer from. Are there symptoms of the disorder that you see as beneficial and attempt to bring in yourself, or things which you have to overcome?

That's a question for scientists. As far as I'm aware, the brain's neurons cannot be replaced once they die, so the functioning areas of the brain gradually shrink over time. On the other hand, because we have so many spare neurons that we don't normally use, there is scope for replenishment to take place in the form of etching new pathways, or re-etching old ones, in previously unused parts of the brain.

A friend of mine is involved in some work on the topic though I've never been able to get him to explain it to me beyond a suggestion that I should find someone near me using the same process. It has apparently been known to help people after strokes or coming out of comas, and there has been some work done with psychaitric illnesses.

Well, it sounds like dealing with your new reality is about adjusting, becoming stable, balancing.

By living so long on the left, you need to get used to living on the right. I'm sure it takes time to accumulate the new experiences that are neccesary to outweigh the power of your old experiences.

It takes time and practice to become balanced and stable with your new view.

I realize a person, when he's defending his position, can stretch a word to mean practically whatever he wants.

But I think if you're open minded you'll see what I mean.

Well, I see what you mean, but I think you are wrong. Quite frankly what needs to happen is a complete elimination of the vast majority of my way of thinking from the past several years. When fear literally and completely defines your existance, there is no room to "balance" that with anything; the need is to simply eliminate it.

(which isn't to say that I'm succeeding here, but I'm much better than I once was)


Also, that "IQ test" doesn't test IQ in the psychological meaning of the term. Not even anywhere close. It tested your knowledge of certain facts rather than your ability to recognize and understand/manipulate things. I got 126 on that test, however I've found that real IQ tests are fairly inconsistant as well; if it depends more on mathematical reasoning skills I will do as much as 50 points above what I'll get on a spacial reasoning section.


EDIT: Why are we talking about IQ anyway? Was there somehow a question of David's intelligence beyond poor grades?

[Aaron Mathis]

David Quinn,

Perhaps a system in which people who reach 60 or 70 have to show that they are enlightened and wise, or else be put to death, should be put in place. It would diminish the drag on the world's resources

AM: Here it sounds like you are saying: "unbalanced people are throwing my world out of balance. By killing them off, we can tip the scale to a more ideal balance".

No, I'm simply arguing for a more efficient use of our resources.

Ok, ok fair enough. Efficiency I suppose is significantly different than balance, although they are very closely related.

It wouldnt be hard to argue that an efficient network is a balanced one and viceversa. But I'm not interested in getting nitpicky about semantics. I understand where you are coming from and I agree with what your getting at.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

I am curious as to why they had extremely elevated schizophrenia scale as I know you have said that is not something you suffer from. Are there symptoms of the disorder that you see as beneficial and attempt to bring in yourself, or things which you have to overcome?

Katy,

There are worlds of difference between schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorders. Actually there is a world of difference between any of the personality disorders and any of the Axis I diagnoses (of which schizophrenia is one).

He probably scored high on that scale due to the level of detachment and flattened emotional responses.

[Katy]

There are worlds of difference between schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorders. Actually there is a world of difference between any of the personality disorders and any of the Axis I diagnoses (of which schizophrenia is one).

He probably scored high on that scale due to the level of detachment and flattened emotional responses.

I am aware of the differences between schizophrenia and schizoid... but the report said schizophrenia. And "boredom and withdrawal" is not exactly an Axis I disorder either.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

A schizophrenia scale does not mean schizophrenia, and boredom and withdrawal isn't even a diagnosis. Psychological testing scales do not directly indicate a diagnosis - which is why it takes a full year of training just on psychological testing as part of the criterea for being licensed to interpret psychological tests. I took a semester long master's level course just to be able to appropriatly read the psychologist's interpretations. It is not designed for lay people to be able to see all the information clearly.

[Aaron Mathis]

Well, I see what you mean, but I think you are wrong. Quite frankly what needs to happen is a complete elimination of the vast majority of my way of thinking from the past several years. When fear literally and completely defines your existance, there is no room to "balance" that with anything; the need is to simply eliminate it.

You are spot on.

I see now that I was wrong.

[Ryan Rudolph]

David Quinn wrote:

So there is a chance that I might get it one day.

Hey Quinn, if the doctors diagnosed you with dementia, and stated that your mind was slowly deteriorating, would you commit suicide while you were still clear-minded or would you allow the disease to kill you?

[Nordicvs]

Here is a psychologist's report from the same period: part one, part two, part three, and part four.

And here is a translationof this report.

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Wow. Much more normal than I am---well, I presume that was many years ago. (Edit---yeah, 1993.)

In the past month, David has again occasionally abused these drugs.

Yes, shrinks can't seem to make a distinction between using and abusing; any drug that doesn't come with a governmental stamp of approval is by default bad and taking it is abuse.

The drugs that restrict consciousness are the ones they want everyone, eventually, to take. When every member of the human species has a "disorder," I wonder how they'll continue making (more) money...doesn't seem to make good business sense, unless they keep raising prices for their meds. Even kids are suckling a pharmaceutical tit now. They'll have to make sure everyone has multi syndromes, else they'll start losing money.

This suggests a grandiose belief not in keeping with his past academic performance although there was no evidence of a formal thought disorder.

This suggests that mediocrity = sanity, and that the only definition of intelligence is that which can be arrived at through academic standards.

David had a great deal of difficulty completing this questionnaire due to his concern with the meanings of the questions and his need to define terms.

Only the dull and unquestioningly obedient will appear psychologically "balanced." Unwavering morons make the best patients, I've heard a few psychiatrists imply.

Clearly, David is not interested in working and his capacity to sustain meaningful employment is questionable. His difficulties relating to people pose a significant stumbling block to him in terms of succeeding in the workforce.

Yeah, David! What's wrong with you?? You'll never get a job on an assembly line with that attitude!!1

Man, was that thing ever an amusing read. I see that psychology is every bit as pathetically ineffectual and effeminate as it is on this continent. The greatest thinkers in history would, if transported to this time, end up being fed happy pills until they're droolingly ordinary and creatively impotent. Psychology---what a fucking joke.

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Ok, this cracked me up:

With regard to his thinking, David reported that his sole aim in life is to improve the quality of his mind and he organizes his life around this purpose. David spends his days thinking and attempting to discern the nature of ultimate reality and truth. He believes that he will be able to achieve his goal through the power of his superior intellect. This suggests a grandiose belief not in keeping with his past academic performance although there was no evidence of a formal thought disorder.

"This man's past academic record proves that he cannot succeed in discerning the nature of ultimate reality."

"This belief, as reasonable as any other belief a person can hold, suggests he has a mental disorder, even though nothing else in his history suggests that he could possibly have one."

For the love of... if you organize your life around achieving a concrete goal, you are more likely to achieve it. This is retarded. Honestly, if you said you spend your days thinking about money and sex, and your sole aim in life is to achieve more of both, and you organize your life around that purpose... that would be normal. They would have had nothing to call you insane about (supposing you didn't simultaneously believe your life was meaningless).

[Nordicvs]

Honestly, if you said you spend your days thinking about money and sex, and your sole aim in life is to achieve more of both, and you organize your life around that purpose... that would be normal.

Yep. That would be normal.

They would have had nothing to call you insane about (supposing you didn't simultaneously believe your life was meaningless).

"There's the television. It's all right there---all right there. Look, listen, kneel, pray. Commercials! We're not productive anymore. We don't make things anymore. It's all automated. What are we for then? We're consumers, Jim. Yeah. Okay-okay. Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. But if you don't buy a lot of stuff, if you don't, what are you then, I ask you? What? Mentally ill. Fact, Jim, fact---if you don't buy things---toilet paper, new cars, computerized yo-yos, electrically-operated sexual devih-ih-hices, stereo systems with brain-implanted headphones, screwdrivers with miniature built-in radar devices, voice-activated computers..."

--"Jeffrey Goines," Twelve Monkeys.

[Matt Gregory]

Psychology is just a bunch of crazy people whose job it is to make mental sufferers to be more like them. If you need psychological help in this society, you're pretty much on your own.

[AlyOshA]

It sounds to me that David has all the attributes that lead to success and mastery. Most important a rejection of everything except a clear, simple, decisive goal. Now I know why QRS values single-mindedness. Martin Scorsese who is the greatest living American filmmaker and a true master of his craft is said to live, eat, breath, and shit films and filmmaking. His wives can't even consider him a husband because he is non-existent and totally dedicated to his craft. I could see David in that light for his particular brand of mastery. IQ has nothing to do with it really. I wish I had a smaller range of aspirations in life. A jack-of-all-trades is really just a jack-off.
Your path is an admirable path after all David.

[AlyOshA]

But my question for you David (and forgive me for a lack of articulation and finesse I’m on time restraints), how do you react to someone who is your opposite. How do you react to a feminine minded-individual who is an utter sensualist, pussy-driven, materialist, power-hungry and unconscious emotionalist, who could give two shits about the bigger issues, or the intellect in general? You can't change them. You can’t kill them. What do you do? Nothing? Ignore them? If your answer is to do nothing, then do you acknowledge that just because they are utterly different than you that does not mean that they aren’t equally significant in the scope of the totality. Do you acknowledge the significance of people that are different from you – even if they go against all of your principles? If not then what do you do? And why?

[AlyOshA]

Do you respect other types of masters whose craft is different than yours? ie the greatest classical composer, athlete, painter, politician, scientist, physicist and so-on? Do you value their importance even though it is different than what you feel to be important?

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Aaron, I haven't forgotten you. Your post was just longer than I expected, and took a while to think about (I'm also really bad with dealing with too many examples at once).

The consequence to valuing some form of survival, is valuing some idea of balance.

This first sentence is what it boils down to. If understanding values means understanding balance, then not understanding balance means not understanding values (the claim that I was particularly confused about).

So, in the sense that they arent aware of why they do what they do (no thought out values, no clear notions of survival and thus of balance) they are thus nihilists, they have no individuality, coherent sense of balance, personhood, soul.

You went by example this post, and this is a good summary. But I don't know if this is definitively true, though. You were oscillating, pointing out that by some definitions of "balance" (false ones), it is untrue.

Which I guess leads naturally to my big question: by which definition of balance would it be necessarily true that a person needs to have a notion of values to have a notion of balance? (In other words, what's the "best" notion of balance?)

[Sapius]

Trevor: In other words, what's the "best" notion of balance?

If I understand this correctly, in my opinion the best notion of ‘balance’ would be “perfection” according to any particular individual.

I would say that nothing comes to be except in its own “balance”, without which, nothing would be, and all that there is, is always in a perfect balance, irrelevant of how one may see it.

[Aaron Mathis]

What's the "best" notion of balance?

Well, balance in a universal sense means stability. Best and worse don’t really apply in that sense. Stability is Stability. Or, A=A.

But I know what you’re getting at: conditions vary.

The best way of doing things depends on what you desire, what you want to avoid, and most importantly, the materials you have to work with.

You’ll find that all things in nature are based on a very precise balance.

Having values means that you make an effort to contribute to the stability and balance of something that you think is important. The girl throwing the hissy fit because her parents won’t let her go out, or wear certain clothes is doing so because she has a (mostly unconscious) sense that something is important and she wants to work at making that important thing stable and strong (by going to parties, wearing the skanky clothes, learning the lingo, getting the boyfriend, etc)

If physiological health is seen as important, then very likely the person who has this sense of importance, has a sense of what sorts of activities and diets stabilize and maintain physiological health. Likewise the person has a notion of what sorts of activities and diets throw off balance the health that he values.

Solway may believe that the last century was a century of feminization. He perhaps sees this as bad because, in his eyes, feminization makes masculinity unstable and weak. And so he devotes his life to what he thinks will give more stability to what he sees as important. The presence of masculinity, like anything, demands a certain quality of balance.

A totality that is beyond balance and imbalance is of course true, but the conditions required to know that requires a very specific balance. That is why only 1 in a million are suited to realize truth.

If your temperment is not very inclined to be very truthful, I still believe that there are conditions that one can subject oneself to in order to bring out a more ideal balance.