Including: Gold Nuggets, Thoughts
on Thinking, A Guide to Women, and Links.
My greatest joy is bringing the immortals back to life.
One word can say more than a thousand pictures.
Half of all epigrams exaggerate, and this is one of them.
People avoid the truth to give themselves something to do.
The heart is wiser than the intellect - says the heart.
The way to a man's heart is through his ignorance.
Parents would rather their son be a salesman than a saint.
Others often better express myself.
Small pleasures exclude great ones.
I don't mow lawns for the reason that I don't shave.
A badly dressed person may or may not be a bum,
But a well dressed person is surely bad.
Goodness plus ignorance makes one Devil.
The road to Hell is paved with Bibles.
You have a fiend in Jesus.
Marriage: the end point of misogyny.
Sport is a great leveller, but then so is death.
Things exist, they're just not
Fallacy will get you everywhere.
Egotism is one substance with two faces - love and hatred.
All pleasures cost at least the time they take.
Combed hair despair;
Clean clothes on the nose.
There would be no war if there were no history.
Time heals nothing.
Everyone has free will, but some have more than others.
Positive thinking is the triumph of negative forces.
If I worked as much as others I would do as little as they.
Tell me what you believe and I'll tell you where you're going wrong.
The great artist and thinker are the simplifiers.
Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think.
The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.
A "New Thinker" when studied closely, is merely someone who does not know what other people have thought.
But far too numerous was the herd of such,
who think too little, and who talk too much.
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the real labour of thinking.
Every good thought you think is contributing its share to the ultimate result of your life.
Thought makes the whole dignity of man; therefore endeavour to think well, that is the only morality.
Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by
thinking once or twice a week. - George Bernard Shaw
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.
Womens' intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.
Woman feels she does not exist if man treats her as a thinking being.
The wisdom of women saves them from getting involved with thinking men.
Woman's philosophy: I wear see-through, therefore I am.
Man's philosophy: I think therefore I offend.
A man should aim to think as much as a woman feels.
There are two common ways to avoid thinking: one is to never read, and the other is to do nothing but read.
Two sorts of writers possess genius: those who think, and those who cause others to think.
But words are things; and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions,
Think much, speak little, and write less.
You can lead high school graduates to University, but you can't make them think.
If you think before you speak, the other fellow gets his joke in first.
Think before you think!
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether people do.
We live in a most unselfish era where hardly anyone is egotist enough to wish to do their own thinking.
As soon as you can say what you think, and not what some other person has thought for you, you are on the way
to being a remarkable man.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.
Everything has been thought of before; the problem is to think of it again.
So far as a man thinks, he is free.
Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy.
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you.
The human race knows enough about thinking to prevent it.
The object of modern science is to make all aspects of reality equally boring, so that no one will be tempted
to think about them.
If one wishes to think for a few hours of each day, one must use the remaining hours to rest-up in preparation.
Amusement is the happiness of those that cannot think.
Thinker: a person who aims where your head ought to be.
Thinking is often only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything.
If you give me six lines written by the most honest man, I will find something in them to hang him.
(I include this somewhat whimsical piece only because it is an interesting
Women, by nature, are evil. It is only when we understand this simple concept that men
can ever hope to understand women. Hopefully, with these guidelines, men will have a better understanding of the
mysterious ways of womankind. The first thing one must remember about a woman is that she knows everything. This
is without exception. To go as far as to say that a woman knows what you are thinking is not unrealistic. If, at any
point of time, you are unsure of what you are thinking, one of the best ways to find out is to ask the nearest
But, unfortunately, there is a drawback to asking a woman such a question. This drawback
is that she, in all probability, will answer. And once a woman starts talking, it is very rare that she will ever
stop. I believe this has something to do with the way that women think. Women believe that as long as they are
talking, people are listening. Of course, listening to a woman talk can be very tedious at times. It is OK not
to listen to her as long as you nod your head in agreement and say Uh-huh every now and then. This makes the woman
think you are listening and therefore she is happy.
Happiness is a good thing in a woman. If a woman is not happy, all hell breaks loose.
In order to help a woman keep a state of happiness, one should buy her gifts for various reasons. These reasons
include the one-month anniversary, the one-year anniversary, Presidents Day, and any day whose date is a multiple
of one. These gifts could be in the conventional form of flowers and candy, or for greater happiness, cars and
Often, when a woman says something, it is not what she means. But, other times, she says
exactly what she means. It is only possible to distinguish these two cases if you are a woman. Since women already
know the nature of women, this is of no use to them. For men, we can only hope to distinguish the difference, for
a mistake in judgement can result in death.
Women know what men want. This is very strange, because even men sometimes don't know
what they want. However, I must observe that it seems that what men want for the most part is women. This is unfortunate,
for women know this fact and know that it is possible for them to do almost anything and this fact will not change.
Women have a very delicate nature. It is virtually impossible to keep one happy all of
the time. It is totally impossible to know what one is thinking or feeling. And it is also impossible for us men,
knowing how evil they are, not to love them. Women. You can't live with 'em. And, you can't live with 'em.
Links of Interest
(When you've had enough of thinking)
I have unsuccessfully tried to find some worthy contributions by women on the Internet. The following is the
best I could come up with:
Also of interest:
Find anything, except an honest man: